There just are not words... I am at a loss for words... I am utterly speechless... I'm gonna try this, don't get me wrong... but it might turn out to be a disorganized jumble of nonsensical nonsense. Which is pretty much what it looks like in my head, so hey, you'll be seeing it exactly how I envisioned it.
Anyone seen the previews for Never Say Never yet? Anybody? Anyone? Bueller... Bueller... {crickets} For the lucky people who get to say no to this question, I will enlighten you. But I cannot guarantee that it won't sneak up on you like a ninja rapist in the middle of a night where you chose to sleep with the window open because it's oh-so-nice outside. If you aren't able to dive for the remote in time, you are likely to be scarred. Like me.
Pop quiz... who is my least favorite celebrity teen in the whole wide world? If you said Miley Cyrus, you'd have been right. Okay, second least favorite... That Bieber creature. This movie that is coming soon (the release date has been blocked from my memory, something about repressing the damaging thoughts) is about HIM!!!! Hold up, gotta puke... Alright, done for n... wait... yeah, I think I'm done. For a few minutes anyway. This kid is what, 12? I'm pretty sure he's a little older, but he's frozen in time for me, because he doesn't appear to have aged since some talent scout fell and did some serious marble damage and signed this nitwit. Yeah, I called him a nitwit. What of it? Michael Jackson got a movie, but he had to die first. Oh and he'd been doing it his ENTIRE life. He died at 50, so I'm pretty sure he'd been at the entertainment game for like 55 years. No that was no typo, I meant 55. Plus, Michael Jackson was a "suspected" pedophile and is STILL considered a legend. That, and he was just an odd bloke, let's all admit it. But nobody cared because we got Thriller, Smooth Criminal and Billie Jean out of it, and he made Free Willy worth seeing because of the awesome soundtrack. So let's go back to my mind-f*** of the day... the year, really, I've hit my shock and disgust quota, anymore might cause me to keel over and become self-comatose. The Bieber creature has been doing this for five minutes compared to Michael "Yes, I DID invent the moonwalk!" Jackson. And he gets a movie?? I've won plenty of grammys in my shower, where's MY movie?? Ugh... And the worst part of all this? If I decide to see a movie in the next few months, I'm gonna have to sit outside the movie theater until the previews are over just to ensure that I miss any further tainting. And all my TV shows will have to be DVRed so I can fast forward the commercials just to further ascertain that I will miss seeing this... this... SHIT again in the comfort of my own home. And did I mention they feel the need to broadcast this waste of money in 3D??? Umm... no thanks, if I wanted the FULL Bieber creature experience, I'd go to a concert. But I don't want to, so I won't. I won't even see the movie so this really doesn't pertain to me. I am not the target audience.
And bullet-in-my-head OH EM GEEEEEE!!! My step daughter has decided she likes the music of said swamp creature. I'm gonna have to damper that shit STAT!!! When she comes back on Wednesday I'm just gonna tell her he died. And his music died with him. Sorry toots.
And this has inspired me to post a sign on my door... Ya know how people post those "no soliciting" signs on their doors? I'm gonna post on that says "Bieber Free Zone" and anyone who mentions his name or music will get kicked to the curb. And banned permanently. OOOO Maybe I can teach my dog to respond to "Bieber" as an attack word... hmmm...
Showing posts with label Stupidity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stupidity. Show all posts
Monday, January 24, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
If There Was an "Idiot" Merit Badge...
I am a prize idiot. I'm pretty sure that I've officially earned that title, and dammit I'm gonna wear it proudly! Yesterday, we had probably one of the worst snows since I've lived here. And it came out of nowhere, at least for me, because I'd broken my ritual of checking the weather every morning this week. For obvious reasons, my mental schedule is a bit off right now.
I left work at 4:20, right when the snow started to pick up. Big ol' fat snow, as I like to call it. I didn't have anything to do that couldn't wait but I was feeling over zealous and wanted to be productive. I have a bulk order from some necklaces that I needed more chain and wire for, but again... not pressing. I decided to go anyway. As I'm leaving the store, the weather had gotten much worse, but I decided I hadn't quite done enough to earn my "idiot" badge so I made a trip out to Abuelo's to get some take out for dinner.
For those of you who don't live in Knoxville, the bead store is in the Northshore area and Abuelo's is in Turkey Creek. Normally, this wouldn't really be too far out of my way. Both are in West Knoxville. See fancy enclosed map below for an exact idea of where I was going. The map says 16 minutes but I've made it from this part of town to Turkey Creek in about 12 minutes before.
I called my food order in about 5:10. And that's about when I noticed the traffic. The interstate is less than a mile from this store, yet it took me 10 minutes to get there anyway. Don't even get me started on the interstate itself. While I was on top of an overpass on 40, I got the urge to look around at the streets and Oh...my...god... every single road, even podunk roads were severely backed up. Didn't make my night look good. I know the weather caused it, but it got me thinking... this kind of weather makes people want to get OFF the roads, but it was like a massive Facebook invite went out about being on the roads last night. And everyone accepted. This kind of traffic would make rush hour blush. Remember that 16 minute estimate? It took me over 50. And I didn't get home until almost 7. It was a nightmare.
The funny part of this story is how I was acting in the car. Ya know how you get to those moments where you're so flabbergasted at the way a situation is going that you just start to talk to yourself? I did that. A lot. If I lost a year off my life for every insult I get, I'd have died at my own hand last night. Because I didn't have to do any of this, I just got the urge to. And lest I remind you, it started snowing as I left work, so it's not like it started after I'd already committed to this. Jordan and I have a joke that started when I told him years ago that I was convinced that he held me responsible for everything that goes wrong in his life. My theory was that I could be on the other side of the world, minding my onesy, and he could stub his toe and his first thought would be, "EFFING MEREDITH!!" A bit more colorful, of course, but I've decided to censor myself for shits and gigglies today. Well... last night, those words were uttered quite a bit and Jordan wasn't saying them! Yeah... good thing insults can't kill a person.
I can honestly say I've officially earned my "idiot" badge. My sash is running out of room, at the rate I'm pulling these stunts. Oh well... at least I possess the ability to laugh at myself.
I left work at 4:20, right when the snow started to pick up. Big ol' fat snow, as I like to call it. I didn't have anything to do that couldn't wait but I was feeling over zealous and wanted to be productive. I have a bulk order from some necklaces that I needed more chain and wire for, but again... not pressing. I decided to go anyway. As I'm leaving the store, the weather had gotten much worse, but I decided I hadn't quite done enough to earn my "idiot" badge so I made a trip out to Abuelo's to get some take out for dinner.
For those of you who don't live in Knoxville, the bead store is in the Northshore area and Abuelo's is in Turkey Creek. Normally, this wouldn't really be too far out of my way. Both are in West Knoxville. See fancy enclosed map below for an exact idea of where I was going. The map says 16 minutes but I've made it from this part of town to Turkey Creek in about 12 minutes before.
I called my food order in about 5:10. And that's about when I noticed the traffic. The interstate is less than a mile from this store, yet it took me 10 minutes to get there anyway. Don't even get me started on the interstate itself. While I was on top of an overpass on 40, I got the urge to look around at the streets and Oh...my...god... every single road, even podunk roads were severely backed up. Didn't make my night look good. I know the weather caused it, but it got me thinking... this kind of weather makes people want to get OFF the roads, but it was like a massive Facebook invite went out about being on the roads last night. And everyone accepted. This kind of traffic would make rush hour blush. Remember that 16 minute estimate? It took me over 50. And I didn't get home until almost 7. It was a nightmare.
The funny part of this story is how I was acting in the car. Ya know how you get to those moments where you're so flabbergasted at the way a situation is going that you just start to talk to yourself? I did that. A lot. If I lost a year off my life for every insult I get, I'd have died at my own hand last night. Because I didn't have to do any of this, I just got the urge to. And lest I remind you, it started snowing as I left work, so it's not like it started after I'd already committed to this. Jordan and I have a joke that started when I told him years ago that I was convinced that he held me responsible for everything that goes wrong in his life. My theory was that I could be on the other side of the world, minding my onesy, and he could stub his toe and his first thought would be, "EFFING MEREDITH!!" A bit more colorful, of course, but I've decided to censor myself for shits and gigglies today. Well... last night, those words were uttered quite a bit and Jordan wasn't saying them! Yeah... good thing insults can't kill a person.
I can honestly say I've officially earned my "idiot" badge. My sash is running out of room, at the rate I'm pulling these stunts. Oh well... at least I possess the ability to laugh at myself.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Silly, Ridiculous Stereotypes
I had a conversation with a good friend the other day and it sounded like a fabulous blog entry! It heavily enters a gray area, but hey, almost every subject is a gray area these days so why not.
Stereotypes. Yep, I'm gonna go there. They are there for a reason and every group has them. But there's good news- it's a personal choice whether or not you want to be in them. A guy walks into my workplace, a respected corporation, with his pants down to his knees, a hat with the sticker/tag still on and sunglasses and honestly thinks it looks good to everyone else. "Circus clowns" are just an example of the words that come to mind. This was his choice, sure it may look good, dope, or whatever people call it these days, to his friends. But to the general population this looks silly, and these guys cannot figure out why people don't respect them. Duh. This friend of mine I had the conversation with works in retail and in his line of work, they have to keep an eye on customers to make sure they aren't being robbed blind. Well you can't exactly stare down every person that walks in, unless you like being cross eyed... I, for one, do not. So what do you do? You play James Bond, super-spy with the likely suspects. It's NOT rocket science that the way people dress is a good indication of the first impressions people have of them. So when you dress like Jay-Z's special-ed cousin, you're going to get some funny looks. I think people take celebrity style a bit too far, because last I checked, on stage, concert attire doesn't look as good on the sidewalk in the middle of the day. Am I the only person who reads (reads meaning I flip through it and look at the pictures, occasionally reading a caption or two) US Weekly and observes that the paparazzi pictures of these celebrities clearly show that the popular people don't wear that shit every day?! Even Usher wears jeans (at the waist) and a T-shirt (in the right size) every now and then, take a note.
I am NOT being racist, quite the opposite. I've seen guys of every race and religion dress like this and guess what... it looks ridiculous on everyone, regardless of skin color. Oh and I haven't forgotten about girls and their part in all this... oh no, they get a turn too!
Girls... oh dear. When every gift your mama gave you is hanging out of one opening or another, there's a problem. Whoever coined the phrase, "If you've got it, flaunt it" needs to die. Maybe they were talking about nice cars... or pretty jewelry... R-E-S-P-E-C-T does not often come the way of girls with boots with the fuuurrr. No, shawty should not get low outside of the club. So let's not dress that way, mkay? Think "presentable," not a difficult concept. Again, this is not restricted to any particular ethnic group, because this fashion sense has spread faster than the Macarena, and I haven't a clue why. That godawful dance died pretty quickly, why won't this? Now I know that I'm no snazzy dresser, but I think my black Chuck Taylors, jeans and a T-shirt of some kind make me a lot more discreet and appropriate than a bikini top with a skirt and fluorescent Reebok shoes. Just sayin'. I don't get disrespected very often on the basis of what I wear, usually it's for what's coming out of my mouth. Which is understandable, I get a bit mouthy sometimes. A lot of times. It's a tic, I'm working on it.
Another part of these stereotypes that drives me bonkers is the language that comes with it. When I was living in my hometown of League City, Texas, I was forced to listen to people I'd grown up with speaking the worst dialect of Ebonics I'd ever heard. Um, we went to the same school and I must have missed that speech class because I don't talk like that. Ugh, and another one- "know what I'm sayin'?" Bullet. Head. Right now. This is not a verbal period, signifying the end of a sentence. I love responding with "no... no I don't know what you're saying." But nevertheless, this expression is like the cherry on top of the cake for the outfits previously mentioned. It's not the same as a filler expression, those are much briefer and ten times harder to control. This, however takes a good 3 seconds to say, 5 if you draw out the "saaaayiin'" part. Which is like taking my annoyances and beefing them up on steroids. Oh well... like I said, stereotypes for a reason. Easy choice, but so hard for some I guess.
Stereotypes. Yep, I'm gonna go there. They are there for a reason and every group has them. But there's good news- it's a personal choice whether or not you want to be in them. A guy walks into my workplace, a respected corporation, with his pants down to his knees, a hat with the sticker/tag still on and sunglasses and honestly thinks it looks good to everyone else. "Circus clowns" are just an example of the words that come to mind. This was his choice, sure it may look good, dope, or whatever people call it these days, to his friends. But to the general population this looks silly, and these guys cannot figure out why people don't respect them. Duh. This friend of mine I had the conversation with works in retail and in his line of work, they have to keep an eye on customers to make sure they aren't being robbed blind. Well you can't exactly stare down every person that walks in, unless you like being cross eyed... I, for one, do not. So what do you do? You play James Bond, super-spy with the likely suspects. It's NOT rocket science that the way people dress is a good indication of the first impressions people have of them. So when you dress like Jay-Z's special-ed cousin, you're going to get some funny looks. I think people take celebrity style a bit too far, because last I checked, on stage, concert attire doesn't look as good on the sidewalk in the middle of the day. Am I the only person who reads (reads meaning I flip through it and look at the pictures, occasionally reading a caption or two) US Weekly and observes that the paparazzi pictures of these celebrities clearly show that the popular people don't wear that shit every day?! Even Usher wears jeans (at the waist) and a T-shirt (in the right size) every now and then, take a note.
I am NOT being racist, quite the opposite. I've seen guys of every race and religion dress like this and guess what... it looks ridiculous on everyone, regardless of skin color. Oh and I haven't forgotten about girls and their part in all this... oh no, they get a turn too!
Girls... oh dear. When every gift your mama gave you is hanging out of one opening or another, there's a problem. Whoever coined the phrase, "If you've got it, flaunt it" needs to die. Maybe they were talking about nice cars... or pretty jewelry... R-E-S-P-E-C-T does not often come the way of girls with boots with the fuuurrr. No, shawty should not get low outside of the club. So let's not dress that way, mkay? Think "presentable," not a difficult concept. Again, this is not restricted to any particular ethnic group, because this fashion sense has spread faster than the Macarena, and I haven't a clue why. That godawful dance died pretty quickly, why won't this? Now I know that I'm no snazzy dresser, but I think my black Chuck Taylors, jeans and a T-shirt of some kind make me a lot more discreet and appropriate than a bikini top with a skirt and fluorescent Reebok shoes. Just sayin'. I don't get disrespected very often on the basis of what I wear, usually it's for what's coming out of my mouth. Which is understandable, I get a bit mouthy sometimes. A lot of times. It's a tic, I'm working on it.
Another part of these stereotypes that drives me bonkers is the language that comes with it. When I was living in my hometown of League City, Texas, I was forced to listen to people I'd grown up with speaking the worst dialect of Ebonics I'd ever heard. Um, we went to the same school and I must have missed that speech class because I don't talk like that. Ugh, and another one- "know what I'm sayin'?" Bullet. Head. Right now. This is not a verbal period, signifying the end of a sentence. I love responding with "no... no I don't know what you're saying." But nevertheless, this expression is like the cherry on top of the cake for the outfits previously mentioned. It's not the same as a filler expression, those are much briefer and ten times harder to control. This, however takes a good 3 seconds to say, 5 if you draw out the "saaaayiin'" part. Which is like taking my annoyances and beefing them up on steroids. Oh well... like I said, stereotypes for a reason. Easy choice, but so hard for some I guess.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Celebrity Rehab: All the Cool Kids Are Doing It
I am so over the Lindsay Lohan bullshit. She must live by the mantra "negative publicity is still publicity." And get this- she's not convinced that her career is over. She still thinks she has a chance to get back on the big screen. My thoughts? That bus left the depot a long time ago.
Making movies is still a business, and for those of you who don't know how making movies work, the studios don't just have several millions of dollars laying around to hand over to these already over-paid actors. Sure, they've got part of it. But a good majority of the cash is provided by investing companies and sometimes the people actually working on the movie, in exchange for a salary and a percentage of the sales. It is a for-profit business, period. Now I don't know about you, but if I had tons of money (that's a nice thought, let me sit on that one for a minute......... ok, I'm done) and were approached to back a movie production, I'd take a serious look at the factors, like any responsible investor. Timeline, a good plot and reliable employees would be the first thing I'd look at. Lindsay Lohan would be a name that would scream "HEAD FOR THE HILLS!!!" Bottom line? Who is going to want to hire this hot mess who has made a career out of being, well... a hot mess. I just don't get it. Why would she think anyone is going to want to hire her after all that she's been through?? I can't speak for the rest of the population, but the only factor influencing me to see a Lohan flick is curiosity.
How do you solve a problem like Lohan? I know, I know!!! Cut her off. Seriously, if I had a downward spiraling celebrity relative or friend, I would cut that bitch off. Her agent, her family, her manager, everyone needs to just back the &*$% off!!! Oh, and step the paparazzi up a notch. A big one. Think about it, losing all your resources and probably your money in the process and still having to deal with those idiots running around with cameras? OOOO that'd be funny! To quote a favorite reality show of mine, Intervention, an addict has to hit their rock bottom before they are put in a position to change. How does someone with money and celebrity status, albeit bad celebrity status, hit a rock bottom? I guess they can't. My idea is now flawed. Bummer.
Seriously though, what is it with these nuts in Hollywood practically seeking out rehab? Lindsay Lohan- drug addict, Jesse James- sex addict, Demi Lovato- eating disorders, David Arquett- alcoholic... it's almost considered a career boost when you start to fade into the background. Again, I guess negative publicity is still publicity. The only celebrity I've ever seen (that I can think of at the moment) literally go from the very bottom to the very top is Robert Downey, Jr. He really had it bad for a while, but he cleaned up, disappeared for a while, and now he's making top 10 movies left and right. But it's taken him over a decade to go from one to the other!! So this is clearly not a career booster!! Had he not gone through the issues that he did, he'd have 10 years of good work that he doesn't have now. I just don't understand why people expect the opposite these days. Or maybe it's just the cool thing to do... maybe Miley Cyrus will be the next to go and I can have a break from that bitch for a while.
Making movies is still a business, and for those of you who don't know how making movies work, the studios don't just have several millions of dollars laying around to hand over to these already over-paid actors. Sure, they've got part of it. But a good majority of the cash is provided by investing companies and sometimes the people actually working on the movie, in exchange for a salary and a percentage of the sales. It is a for-profit business, period. Now I don't know about you, but if I had tons of money (that's a nice thought, let me sit on that one for a minute......... ok, I'm done) and were approached to back a movie production, I'd take a serious look at the factors, like any responsible investor. Timeline, a good plot and reliable employees would be the first thing I'd look at. Lindsay Lohan would be a name that would scream "HEAD FOR THE HILLS!!!" Bottom line? Who is going to want to hire this hot mess who has made a career out of being, well... a hot mess. I just don't get it. Why would she think anyone is going to want to hire her after all that she's been through?? I can't speak for the rest of the population, but the only factor influencing me to see a Lohan flick is curiosity.
How do you solve a problem like Lohan? I know, I know!!! Cut her off. Seriously, if I had a downward spiraling celebrity relative or friend, I would cut that bitch off. Her agent, her family, her manager, everyone needs to just back the &*$% off!!! Oh, and step the paparazzi up a notch. A big one. Think about it, losing all your resources and probably your money in the process and still having to deal with those idiots running around with cameras? OOOO that'd be funny! To quote a favorite reality show of mine, Intervention, an addict has to hit their rock bottom before they are put in a position to change. How does someone with money and celebrity status, albeit bad celebrity status, hit a rock bottom? I guess they can't. My idea is now flawed. Bummer.
Seriously though, what is it with these nuts in Hollywood practically seeking out rehab? Lindsay Lohan- drug addict, Jesse James- sex addict, Demi Lovato- eating disorders, David Arquett- alcoholic... it's almost considered a career boost when you start to fade into the background. Again, I guess negative publicity is still publicity. The only celebrity I've ever seen (that I can think of at the moment) literally go from the very bottom to the very top is Robert Downey, Jr. He really had it bad for a while, but he cleaned up, disappeared for a while, and now he's making top 10 movies left and right. But it's taken him over a decade to go from one to the other!! So this is clearly not a career booster!! Had he not gone through the issues that he did, he'd have 10 years of good work that he doesn't have now. I just don't understand why people expect the opposite these days. Or maybe it's just the cool thing to do... maybe Miley Cyrus will be the next to go and I can have a break from that bitch for a while.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
TLC Off It's Rocker
Just watched about 10 minutes of Sister Wives. Because 11 minutes would have been too much. TLC claims this show is "educational" and can help us learn about this alternate lifestyle. Here's the thing, I don't need to know how polygamy works. I know how it works, but I don't understand it. I love my husband and I'm very territorial, so if he were to come home and say "Ya know, honey, I really do love you but this marriage is missing something... how's about we try another wife?" I'd probably poop myself. Even besides that, what's the functionality of it?? This guy looks like he's about to lose his mind going from one side of the house to the other (oh yeah, the wives all have their own parts to this special house, so it's not even "one big happy family") taking care of kids, paying bills, yadayadayada. Why would ANYONE chose this kind of stressful, hectic lifestyle?
Now I know that this is just a different culture than mine and this is what they've been raised with. If I had been raised wearing bubble wrap as clothing, I'd probably never think it was weird. But no matter how I cut it, I can't get over the fact that this lifestyle appears to be based off of a superficial need for more. This guy can use his beliefs as an excuse to seek out a newer, younger model. I refuse to believe that his family "needs" another wife because my marriage does just fine with one. My parents have been married for 33 years and it hasn't been easy, but they have needed anything but another woman to make it work.
And another thing I can't wrap my head around is WHY is it ok to need more wives but not more husbands? This could easily be flipped and it'd be JUST as ridiculous. But that's not allowed. Men can seek out what they need, but the wives, oh no... they are committed to this difficult life of splitting their time with other wives and are left to deal with their personal problems on their own. Almost every other minute on the show, one of them is crying, and the minutes that no one is crying, someone is admitting something negative they feel about this lifestyle. I feel so bad for these women, but again- they've chosen this. Why is beyond me. And I have a theory about Meri, the first wife and the only legal one. They married knowing that this was the life they would lead. And she'd never admit it, she claims to support this but everything about her expression screams, "SOMEONE SAVE ME!!!" I have a strong feeling that this woman hates this life. If my suspicions are correct... who could blame her?
And the kids!!!! These kids are just expected to feel okay with this!!! This can't be a normal upbringing. The kids are literally thrown into a community pot, and the wives can just grab them as needed. Oh, you need a self-centered teen, you say? I'm pretty sure we've got one or to of those lying around... you need a cute, snot nosed toddler? We've got 6! This can't be healthy!!!
As I said, this is a a culture that I just don't understand. I respect other religious beliefs but this just doesn't seem religious to me. I don't see how polygamist men are anything but self centered and strive to get what they want. They provide for their families financially but are not expected to provide the basic relationship needs to their wives. I try to look at everything with an open mind... but this is just nuts. Pure insanity.
On a side note, terrible shows are usually easy to spot, if by nothing else, by the caliber of commercials that come with them. Example: I saw an infomercial while watching this show for "Pajama Jeans" which are basically blue stretch pants with the stitching printed on them. As if I needed any more reasons to change the channel, but it's like a car wreck. You hate to look, you know you shouldn't, but you just can't help but stare with that quasi horrified/confused look on your face. Hey, if TLC put it out there for all to see, stare away, rubber neckers, stare away.
Now I know that this is just a different culture than mine and this is what they've been raised with. If I had been raised wearing bubble wrap as clothing, I'd probably never think it was weird. But no matter how I cut it, I can't get over the fact that this lifestyle appears to be based off of a superficial need for more. This guy can use his beliefs as an excuse to seek out a newer, younger model. I refuse to believe that his family "needs" another wife because my marriage does just fine with one. My parents have been married for 33 years and it hasn't been easy, but they have needed anything but another woman to make it work.
And another thing I can't wrap my head around is WHY is it ok to need more wives but not more husbands? This could easily be flipped and it'd be JUST as ridiculous. But that's not allowed. Men can seek out what they need, but the wives, oh no... they are committed to this difficult life of splitting their time with other wives and are left to deal with their personal problems on their own. Almost every other minute on the show, one of them is crying, and the minutes that no one is crying, someone is admitting something negative they feel about this lifestyle. I feel so bad for these women, but again- they've chosen this. Why is beyond me. And I have a theory about Meri, the first wife and the only legal one. They married knowing that this was the life they would lead. And she'd never admit it, she claims to support this but everything about her expression screams, "SOMEONE SAVE ME!!!" I have a strong feeling that this woman hates this life. If my suspicions are correct... who could blame her?
And the kids!!!! These kids are just expected to feel okay with this!!! This can't be a normal upbringing. The kids are literally thrown into a community pot, and the wives can just grab them as needed. Oh, you need a self-centered teen, you say? I'm pretty sure we've got one or to of those lying around... you need a cute, snot nosed toddler? We've got 6! This can't be healthy!!!
As I said, this is a a culture that I just don't understand. I respect other religious beliefs but this just doesn't seem religious to me. I don't see how polygamist men are anything but self centered and strive to get what they want. They provide for their families financially but are not expected to provide the basic relationship needs to their wives. I try to look at everything with an open mind... but this is just nuts. Pure insanity.
On a side note, terrible shows are usually easy to spot, if by nothing else, by the caliber of commercials that come with them. Example: I saw an infomercial while watching this show for "Pajama Jeans" which are basically blue stretch pants with the stitching printed on them. As if I needed any more reasons to change the channel, but it's like a car wreck. You hate to look, you know you shouldn't, but you just can't help but stare with that quasi horrified/confused look on your face. Hey, if TLC put it out there for all to see, stare away, rubber neckers, stare away.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Reality TV: A Little Too Real
Well 2010 is officially on it's way out the door, and it's got me thinking... what do I want to heave out the door with it? My job? Check. These excess pounds that have taken up residence on my bum? Sounds pretty splendid. Oh and ya know what would be fabulous to send out with 2010. Reality TV. That'd be pretty nice...
There is literally a reality show for everything. Pawn Stars is one of my personal favorites, because they've glamorized this business into TV-quality. I can honestly say I've never stepped foot in a pawn shop, not because I've just never had the opportunity to grace them with my presence... oh no, it's because I've avoided them like the plague. These places just seem like dirty, trashy establishments and I'm sorry for sounding condescending, but ew. Granted, the pawn shop in the show is pretty nice, but they are definitely the exception, not the rule.
Parking Wars... ????? I seriously thought that I was being punked when I first saw a preview for this show. As all reality shows, some of the people are funny. But that's life, you occasionally run across some pretty entertaining people. By no means does that mean we have to start filming our lives just so we can publicize the interesting characters we run across. There are some hilariously entertaining people in my line of work, but I'd be more embarrassed than anything to show them off to the world- "Yeah guys, this is the kind of caliber of people I work with... You're just dripping with jealousy, aren't you?" Nope...
Another one is Billy the Exterminator. I'll admit, I've spent more than a few hours watching this show, not for the entertainment value, but it's sorta educational. But at the end of the day, it's a show about a guy who takes care of pests, and I could live without that on the tube. Apparently this guy got his shot at a TV show when he was featured on Mike Rowe's Dirty Jobs and SOMEONE decided, "this guy's got pizazz, let's give him his own show!" He's an exterminator with an unconventional sense of style. That's it. Stimulating TV ya got there.
Storage Wars is a new one, I've never actually seen an episode or even part for that matter, just what I've seen on previews. From what I gather, it's about storage facilities. My interest was never stimulated enough to get more information than that. Another one-seasoner, I'd put money on it.
Hoarders is taking it a bit far. This one's a bit different, because it's a mental condition. This one disgusts me more in the light that it's exploiting this rather embarrassing, mental problem. It's somewhat educational, sure... but how much more can we exploit personal issues. Intervention is a personal favorite of mine and I support it, but it's completely different. It's not as embarrassing, in the sense that hoarding is a habit that can easily be kept behind closed doors and no one will ever know. If you're a "stumbling all over yourself, cracked out 24/7, loud, disrespectful" addict, everyone knows it, whether you're on TV or not.
Oddities is a new one we're watching, and as entertaining as it can be... at times, it's not 100% there. Some of it's pretty gross. Most of it, actually. Watch one episode, you'll see exactly what I'm talking about. Another fabulous example that we don't need to publicize every strange person we come across, because the store in the show clearly has more than it's share.
Sarah Palin's Alaska needs to go straight where her political career went. Guess what? We didn't care enough about your personal life when we had the ability to put it in front of us 24/7, we don't care to tune into it either. LET IT GO! She's grasping!
In my research for this entry (yes, they aren't just rants, I get good, solid background on these puppies!) I came across yet another reality show that blows my mind. Swamp Loggers. Before you Le Goog it, I'll save you the trouble, it's exactly what it sounds like. Loggers that find wood in swamps. Here's my question... where was the interest in this line of work to spark this show?? Not with this girl, that's for sure.
Oh, and if logging toots your flute, but swamp logging is a bit extreme for you, don't worry, there's a show for you too... American Loggers is the plain M&M's version. Also, exactly what it sounds like. Ugh. Again, not a line of work that's ever intrigued me enough to complain about the lack of a show about it.
Deadliest Catch is also beyond me. Granted, these guys risk their lives out there and I'm not degrading that, but still... movies about fake fishermen have failed, how is a show about real ones expected to do the opposite? One of those shows you can only watch one or two episodes of before it becomes the same thing over and over and over again.
Police Women of Dallas/Memphis is no winner either. Those who know me probably think I'd like these shows. They'd be mistaken. Sure, these are independent women with guns slapping handcuffs on people. But it's a poor man's version of Cops and one version is enough. It's just not stimulating enough to keep me coming back for more.
I really could go on all day about these shows... and the sad thing is, we haven't gotten the hint yet about what works and what doesn't. We just keep throwing these things against the wall to see what sticks. I want to start standing in the board rooms where the initial "yay or nay" discussions about these shows take place with a big ol' cast iron skillet. The guys who support the stupid shows get to meet my little friend. Simple, effective solution, I think!
There is literally a reality show for everything. Pawn Stars is one of my personal favorites, because they've glamorized this business into TV-quality. I can honestly say I've never stepped foot in a pawn shop, not because I've just never had the opportunity to grace them with my presence... oh no, it's because I've avoided them like the plague. These places just seem like dirty, trashy establishments and I'm sorry for sounding condescending, but ew. Granted, the pawn shop in the show is pretty nice, but they are definitely the exception, not the rule.
Parking Wars... ????? I seriously thought that I was being punked when I first saw a preview for this show. As all reality shows, some of the people are funny. But that's life, you occasionally run across some pretty entertaining people. By no means does that mean we have to start filming our lives just so we can publicize the interesting characters we run across. There are some hilariously entertaining people in my line of work, but I'd be more embarrassed than anything to show them off to the world- "Yeah guys, this is the kind of caliber of people I work with... You're just dripping with jealousy, aren't you?" Nope...
Another one is Billy the Exterminator. I'll admit, I've spent more than a few hours watching this show, not for the entertainment value, but it's sorta educational. But at the end of the day, it's a show about a guy who takes care of pests, and I could live without that on the tube. Apparently this guy got his shot at a TV show when he was featured on Mike Rowe's Dirty Jobs and SOMEONE decided, "this guy's got pizazz, let's give him his own show!" He's an exterminator with an unconventional sense of style. That's it. Stimulating TV ya got there.
Storage Wars is a new one, I've never actually seen an episode or even part for that matter, just what I've seen on previews. From what I gather, it's about storage facilities. My interest was never stimulated enough to get more information than that. Another one-seasoner, I'd put money on it.
Hoarders is taking it a bit far. This one's a bit different, because it's a mental condition. This one disgusts me more in the light that it's exploiting this rather embarrassing, mental problem. It's somewhat educational, sure... but how much more can we exploit personal issues. Intervention is a personal favorite of mine and I support it, but it's completely different. It's not as embarrassing, in the sense that hoarding is a habit that can easily be kept behind closed doors and no one will ever know. If you're a "stumbling all over yourself, cracked out 24/7, loud, disrespectful" addict, everyone knows it, whether you're on TV or not.
Oddities is a new one we're watching, and as entertaining as it can be... at times, it's not 100% there. Some of it's pretty gross. Most of it, actually. Watch one episode, you'll see exactly what I'm talking about. Another fabulous example that we don't need to publicize every strange person we come across, because the store in the show clearly has more than it's share.
Sarah Palin's Alaska needs to go straight where her political career went. Guess what? We didn't care enough about your personal life when we had the ability to put it in front of us 24/7, we don't care to tune into it either. LET IT GO! She's grasping!
In my research for this entry (yes, they aren't just rants, I get good, solid background on these puppies!) I came across yet another reality show that blows my mind. Swamp Loggers. Before you Le Goog it, I'll save you the trouble, it's exactly what it sounds like. Loggers that find wood in swamps. Here's my question... where was the interest in this line of work to spark this show?? Not with this girl, that's for sure.
Oh, and if logging toots your flute, but swamp logging is a bit extreme for you, don't worry, there's a show for you too... American Loggers is the plain M&M's version. Also, exactly what it sounds like. Ugh. Again, not a line of work that's ever intrigued me enough to complain about the lack of a show about it.
Deadliest Catch is also beyond me. Granted, these guys risk their lives out there and I'm not degrading that, but still... movies about fake fishermen have failed, how is a show about real ones expected to do the opposite? One of those shows you can only watch one or two episodes of before it becomes the same thing over and over and over again.
Police Women of Dallas/Memphis is no winner either. Those who know me probably think I'd like these shows. They'd be mistaken. Sure, these are independent women with guns slapping handcuffs on people. But it's a poor man's version of Cops and one version is enough. It's just not stimulating enough to keep me coming back for more.
I really could go on all day about these shows... and the sad thing is, we haven't gotten the hint yet about what works and what doesn't. We just keep throwing these things against the wall to see what sticks. I want to start standing in the board rooms where the initial "yay or nay" discussions about these shows take place with a big ol' cast iron skillet. The guys who support the stupid shows get to meet my little friend. Simple, effective solution, I think!
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
An ADD Kinda Day
I've always thought the "prophecy" about 12-23-12 being the end of the world was rubbish. My theory? If you were given a pencil and a couple of hundred pieces of paper and told "Here's the format, make a calendar and keep going as far as you can," you'd get pretty stinkin' tired after a while. You'd make it a couple of thousand years or so before you'd think to yourself, "I've given them plenty, they may not even live that long and even if they do, they can pick it up from there." For some reason, this generation of idiots has concluded that this means the world is ending on that precise day. There is no actual written prediction of this, we just like focusing on the end of the world. My mom is one of these people. Everything is a sign and falls into this great master plan that the world will end on a specific time after certain events take place. My opinions? It's not happening now, so pass me a beer and we can forget about it for a while. The truth about this date? It's the first day of the 14th b'ak'tun, which is basically just a specific measurement for a specific chunk of time. We've just translated the end of a calendar to just that- the end of time. Which is dumb.
Which brings me back to how tiring this colossal task would be. I'm an artsy-craftsy kinda girl, and I got a wild hair up my ass and decided to make a day planner for 2011. Next time I mention this, send me a comment or an email and remind me how stupid I was for trying this in the first place. Think about it- you fold a page and it has page 1 on the left and page 2 on the right. Fold another and stick it inside the first set of pages and what was page 2 now becomes page 4. OK so now that you have the idea of how that works, I have to fold 8 pieces of paper and put them inside of each other. And there are 5 sections just like that. Imagine the typing, the printing, the folding... Ugh. I'm a dumbass for thinking this up. Now that I've done this, my 2012 theory has just been further solidified. It's tiring. It's a lot of work. It's confusing. And I've gone through more Excedrin in the past week than I have in a lifetime. But they've turned out nicely, so it wasn't for nothing. But stttiiiiiilllllllllll....
I'm going to hop off that soapbox and mosey over to another. This is not a pretty subject, but one that must be covered. Plumber's butt. Yeah, I'm gonna go there. I saw the worst one I've ever seen in my life. One of those dirty jeans, top of the Hanes tighty-whities hanging out, splotchy red, fat-as-f*** numbers. No, I didn't look on purpose and I darted my glance another way the second I realized what I was looking at. But I have a semi photographic memory, and these are the kind of mental pictures that have a tendency to overstay their welcome. Why can't my memories from Christmases or vacations be that way... I forget those pretty stinking easily. And this brings me to another common theme from previous entries... how do you not know that this is happening??? Especially in this guy's case, paired with the weather we've been having, how do you NOT feel a draft??? When enough skin is showing to project IMAX films on, you can't not notice it. The concept of a belt escapes these men. Or women, in some cases, but people seem to complain a lot less about those. I wonder why... I think I'm scarred for life, this guy didn't even have the sense to give everyone a courtesy hike of the britches. Oh, and I forgot to mention, I was standing directly behind him in line. Not like I can just run and hide, as much as I wanted to...
Excuse me, I have to go puke now. And then take a shower. Buh.
Which brings me back to how tiring this colossal task would be. I'm an artsy-craftsy kinda girl, and I got a wild hair up my ass and decided to make a day planner for 2011. Next time I mention this, send me a comment or an email and remind me how stupid I was for trying this in the first place. Think about it- you fold a page and it has page 1 on the left and page 2 on the right. Fold another and stick it inside the first set of pages and what was page 2 now becomes page 4. OK so now that you have the idea of how that works, I have to fold 8 pieces of paper and put them inside of each other. And there are 5 sections just like that. Imagine the typing, the printing, the folding... Ugh. I'm a dumbass for thinking this up. Now that I've done this, my 2012 theory has just been further solidified. It's tiring. It's a lot of work. It's confusing. And I've gone through more Excedrin in the past week than I have in a lifetime. But they've turned out nicely, so it wasn't for nothing. But stttiiiiiilllllllllll....
I'm going to hop off that soapbox and mosey over to another. This is not a pretty subject, but one that must be covered. Plumber's butt. Yeah, I'm gonna go there. I saw the worst one I've ever seen in my life. One of those dirty jeans, top of the Hanes tighty-whities hanging out, splotchy red, fat-as-f*** numbers. No, I didn't look on purpose and I darted my glance another way the second I realized what I was looking at. But I have a semi photographic memory, and these are the kind of mental pictures that have a tendency to overstay their welcome. Why can't my memories from Christmases or vacations be that way... I forget those pretty stinking easily. And this brings me to another common theme from previous entries... how do you not know that this is happening??? Especially in this guy's case, paired with the weather we've been having, how do you NOT feel a draft??? When enough skin is showing to project IMAX films on, you can't not notice it. The concept of a belt escapes these men. Or women, in some cases, but people seem to complain a lot less about those. I wonder why... I think I'm scarred for life, this guy didn't even have the sense to give everyone a courtesy hike of the britches. Oh, and I forgot to mention, I was standing directly behind him in line. Not like I can just run and hide, as much as I wanted to...
Excuse me, I have to go puke now. And then take a shower. Buh.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
If You're a Douche and You Know It Clap Your Hands
Today's entry was inspired by a story my friend told me. This probably won't be as funny coming from my mouth, but you'll get the gist of it. She was driving home from work and accidentally cut off another driver and was given the bird. That's not the funny part, though... the lady was driving a minivan decorated with antlers and a red nose. And it wasn't just a casual flip the bird and drive away, it was a two hander set. Apparently this lady took the holiday spirit of "two turtle doves" a bit too far.
Which brings me to today's point: When you're being douchey, you know it. When I'm in a pissy mood and feel like being a bitch, I am well aware of my actions. That doesn't happen often, but I've been known on occasion to express myself a bit more than I should. See November 21's post for proof of this. What is wrong with people? I just don't understand people that are nasty, know they are nasty, and don't give a rat's ass. I'm an honest person, whether I know you or not, but honesty doesn't have to come with bitchiness. The fact that people can be douchebags even during this time of year is beyond me. People should start checking their attitudes with their coats because I am over it. I have to be careful with this, because I'm likely to speak my mind about this at the most inopportune time, like oh, say... I don't know... at WORK!! That'd be a lovely Christmas present for my husband, I can hear how that conversation would pan out- "Hey hon, how was your day? You know how you always said you wanted me to be able to quit my job and do nothing but cook and clean and help take care of the family alllll day long? Well... MERRY CHRISTMAS!!" I'm not a very fast runner but I'm having a feeling I'd be working my best Sonic the Hedgehog impression.
I'm pretty sure these people are just like this because they think their shit don't stink, which again, confuses the hell out of me. How can people honestly think that they are THAT much better than the rest of the population? Do they honestly not see how that ridiculous that looks to everyone else? I've decided to be a smart ass and take this to the next level just to show them how silly it really is... I'm going to start carrying around little day glow cans of spray paint, and whenever I feel justified, I'm gonna write my name all over shit. Someone wants to cut me off going through the door? Um... no sir. I'll whip out my can and write my name on the damn door. Cutting me off on the road??! NO MA'AM!!!! I will stop this car, get out, and graffiti my name ALLLL over I-40. OOO and going to Christmas parties would be effing awesome, because if I want to monopolize the food table and take all the good shit all the while shooting nasty looks at peeps who think I should share, I'll just spray paint the entire table with my signature, food and all. A tad extreme, you say? I think we hit the extremist level about 3-4 decades ago. Because I honestly think that's the only way to show these people just what they look like. Stupid, immature, possessive, cocky, all of the above.
Bottom line- if you feel this amazing sense of entitlement, keep it to yourself. If it doesn't fit on your property, it's not yours. If it's in a public place, you have to share. If you honestly want a roadway to yourself, buy a segue and use sidewalks. No one uses those anymore anyway, have a ball, you're likely to have it all to yourself. If you ask for something and are told no, deal: if you had to ask, it was clearly out of your hands in the first place. If you just don't like someone, keep it to yourself, chances are the feeling is mutual. And in the off chance that the person you don't like is one of the .002% of the population that actually is entitled, you're going to look pretty silly, aren't ya?
Which brings me to today's point: When you're being douchey, you know it. When I'm in a pissy mood and feel like being a bitch, I am well aware of my actions. That doesn't happen often, but I've been known on occasion to express myself a bit more than I should. See November 21's post for proof of this. What is wrong with people? I just don't understand people that are nasty, know they are nasty, and don't give a rat's ass. I'm an honest person, whether I know you or not, but honesty doesn't have to come with bitchiness. The fact that people can be douchebags even during this time of year is beyond me. People should start checking their attitudes with their coats because I am over it. I have to be careful with this, because I'm likely to speak my mind about this at the most inopportune time, like oh, say... I don't know... at WORK!! That'd be a lovely Christmas present for my husband, I can hear how that conversation would pan out- "Hey hon, how was your day? You know how you always said you wanted me to be able to quit my job and do nothing but cook and clean and help take care of the family alllll day long? Well... MERRY CHRISTMAS!!" I'm not a very fast runner but I'm having a feeling I'd be working my best Sonic the Hedgehog impression.
I'm pretty sure these people are just like this because they think their shit don't stink, which again, confuses the hell out of me. How can people honestly think that they are THAT much better than the rest of the population? Do they honestly not see how that ridiculous that looks to everyone else? I've decided to be a smart ass and take this to the next level just to show them how silly it really is... I'm going to start carrying around little day glow cans of spray paint, and whenever I feel justified, I'm gonna write my name all over shit. Someone wants to cut me off going through the door? Um... no sir. I'll whip out my can and write my name on the damn door. Cutting me off on the road??! NO MA'AM!!!! I will stop this car, get out, and graffiti my name ALLLL over I-40. OOO and going to Christmas parties would be effing awesome, because if I want to monopolize the food table and take all the good shit all the while shooting nasty looks at peeps who think I should share, I'll just spray paint the entire table with my signature, food and all. A tad extreme, you say? I think we hit the extremist level about 3-4 decades ago. Because I honestly think that's the only way to show these people just what they look like. Stupid, immature, possessive, cocky, all of the above.
Bottom line- if you feel this amazing sense of entitlement, keep it to yourself. If it doesn't fit on your property, it's not yours. If it's in a public place, you have to share. If you honestly want a roadway to yourself, buy a segue and use sidewalks. No one uses those anymore anyway, have a ball, you're likely to have it all to yourself. If you ask for something and are told no, deal: if you had to ask, it was clearly out of your hands in the first place. If you just don't like someone, keep it to yourself, chances are the feeling is mutual. And in the off chance that the person you don't like is one of the .002% of the population that actually is entitled, you're going to look pretty silly, aren't ya?
Monday, December 13, 2010
My Daytrip to Hell
If someone had asked me five years ago what hell for me would be, I'd probably have said being stuck in Chuck E Cheese with my least favorite person in the world. And I'd probably have said the chances of that actually happening were slim to none. Which also goes to show that five years ago, I wasn't the brightest crayon in the box.
I was given the fun-filled, rare opportunity to live my hell yesterday. I dreaded it with a passion, but I survived. Barely. I went out on Saturday night to celebrate being done with my finals for the semester, and about 3 shots, 4 hurricanes and a couple of jokes about "bean dips" later, I was pretty hammered. And something about guys liking girls who can get themselves "wet." Someone misheard me, but I'm a pro at making completely innocent statements sound dirty. I'm pretty sure I said "guys like girls they can be themselves with." Eh whatever. It was funnier, and probably just as accurate of a statement.
Jump to the next morning. I woke up with the worst hangover I've had in a while. The "if I so much as blink, I'm gonna puke" kind. Ugh. I hadn't forgotten about my stepdaughter's fifth birthday party at Chuck E Cheese, I'm pretty sure I just planned on still being drunk from 11 to 1 the next day to maintain my way through. FYI, for anyone ever thinking about trying this- it backfired. Badly. I ended up sitting in the bathtub for 30 minutes eating a bowl of Cap'n Crunch. After 3 Excedrin, 2 prescription strength Naproxin Sodium and 1 prescription strength Ibuprofen, and about 2 gallons of water, I was feeling a bit more like myself. Disclosure: This isn't overdosing for me, far from it. I have a very high tolerance for pain meds, and believe me, it makes my life and managing pain pretty difficult. Back to the story...
So as if my previous opinion on hell wasn't bad enough, add a hangover to it, and it's downright excruciating. And I thought it couldn't get any worse than that! So now we have Chuck E Cheese and a hangover, now we're to the part about my least favorite person. My husband's ex-wife, my step daughter's mom, attended said party. Want to hear the effed up part? This was all my idea. I decided to be nice, because she'd recently lost a job (she would have quit after a few months anyway, in all fairness) and probably wouldn't have been able to throw her own party for their daughter like she normally does. And 5 is a pretty big birthday, I thought it'd be a nice gift for my stepdaughter to have both her parents in one place for longer than five minutes. So at this point, every part of my hell was a product of my own doing. Hangover- did it to myself. Arch nemesis- invited her. Oh, and the Chuck E Cheese part was my idea too. I must have a few screws loose, and a few more that weren't even there in the first place.
I made it out in one piece. The good news is that we had a lot of close friends there that knew my husband and this woman when they were together and through their divorce. They have good reasons for hating this woman. So I had a posse... and she got to hang out with the kids. Fair trade, I thought. The bitch hardly said a word to me, but the few that she did, I was polite. She said "could this be any more awkward?" and I told her "yes, yes it could." Hey, that's polite! I was nice enough to leave off the part about HOW it could be more awkward. Everyone could have told her what they thought about her. I am nice to this woman for no benefit of my own, but for my family. My step daughter doesn't need to be caught in the middle of a cat fight and my husband is the one who has to deal with her the most. I'm a more understanding woman than most would be in my position, I've earned the right to complain a bit. Example: When she decided to (temporarily, thought I didn't know that at the time) leave her boyfriend, I opened up my home and invited her to stay with us until she found a job and a place to live. That fell through, she went crawling back to him, but I was willing to do it. I felt the same way about her then as I do now. But it wasn't about me at that point, it was about my step daughter. But yeah... that's about 1% of the background of my relationship with her. I don't feel like going into the rest.
I've never been so happy to come home and do absolutely nothing. My nap on the couch almost had me 100% recovered.
I was given the fun-filled, rare opportunity to live my hell yesterday. I dreaded it with a passion, but I survived. Barely. I went out on Saturday night to celebrate being done with my finals for the semester, and about 3 shots, 4 hurricanes and a couple of jokes about "bean dips" later, I was pretty hammered. And something about guys liking girls who can get themselves "wet." Someone misheard me, but I'm a pro at making completely innocent statements sound dirty. I'm pretty sure I said "guys like girls they can be themselves with." Eh whatever. It was funnier, and probably just as accurate of a statement.
Jump to the next morning. I woke up with the worst hangover I've had in a while. The "if I so much as blink, I'm gonna puke" kind. Ugh. I hadn't forgotten about my stepdaughter's fifth birthday party at Chuck E Cheese, I'm pretty sure I just planned on still being drunk from 11 to 1 the next day to maintain my way through. FYI, for anyone ever thinking about trying this- it backfired. Badly. I ended up sitting in the bathtub for 30 minutes eating a bowl of Cap'n Crunch. After 3 Excedrin, 2 prescription strength Naproxin Sodium and 1 prescription strength Ibuprofen, and about 2 gallons of water, I was feeling a bit more like myself. Disclosure: This isn't overdosing for me, far from it. I have a very high tolerance for pain meds, and believe me, it makes my life and managing pain pretty difficult. Back to the story...
So as if my previous opinion on hell wasn't bad enough, add a hangover to it, and it's downright excruciating. And I thought it couldn't get any worse than that! So now we have Chuck E Cheese and a hangover, now we're to the part about my least favorite person. My husband's ex-wife, my step daughter's mom, attended said party. Want to hear the effed up part? This was all my idea. I decided to be nice, because she'd recently lost a job (she would have quit after a few months anyway, in all fairness) and probably wouldn't have been able to throw her own party for their daughter like she normally does. And 5 is a pretty big birthday, I thought it'd be a nice gift for my stepdaughter to have both her parents in one place for longer than five minutes. So at this point, every part of my hell was a product of my own doing. Hangover- did it to myself. Arch nemesis- invited her. Oh, and the Chuck E Cheese part was my idea too. I must have a few screws loose, and a few more that weren't even there in the first place.
I made it out in one piece. The good news is that we had a lot of close friends there that knew my husband and this woman when they were together and through their divorce. They have good reasons for hating this woman. So I had a posse... and she got to hang out with the kids. Fair trade, I thought. The bitch hardly said a word to me, but the few that she did, I was polite. She said "could this be any more awkward?" and I told her "yes, yes it could." Hey, that's polite! I was nice enough to leave off the part about HOW it could be more awkward. Everyone could have told her what they thought about her. I am nice to this woman for no benefit of my own, but for my family. My step daughter doesn't need to be caught in the middle of a cat fight and my husband is the one who has to deal with her the most. I'm a more understanding woman than most would be in my position, I've earned the right to complain a bit. Example: When she decided to (temporarily, thought I didn't know that at the time) leave her boyfriend, I opened up my home and invited her to stay with us until she found a job and a place to live. That fell through, she went crawling back to him, but I was willing to do it. I felt the same way about her then as I do now. But it wasn't about me at that point, it was about my step daughter. But yeah... that's about 1% of the background of my relationship with her. I don't feel like going into the rest.
I've never been so happy to come home and do absolutely nothing. My nap on the couch almost had me 100% recovered.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Facebook Games: Dumb and Dumber
I'm going to pick up where I left off with my Facebook dos and don'ts. But I'm going to talk about one big annoyance rather than a whole list of them. These big status update games have got to go. Bra colors, where you put your purse, changing pictures to cartoon characters, messaging numbers to people to get them to tell you how they really feel about you... it's getting old. Really old.
It started with the damn bra colors for breast cancer awareness. I didn't fully understand the point of this. We're women, we have boobies. Of course we're against breast cancer. And I'm pretty sure 99% of the adult population is aware of breast cancer. Awareness isn't the goal, raising funds for research and to help find a cure is. How does me announcing my bra color to the world affect that? I participated in Walk for the Cure this year, and it's events like that that make a difference in stopping breast cancer. Sharing intimate details about my unmentionables doesn't make a difference. And the purse thing from this year? What does my purse and where I like to put it have with my boobies? If people just want to play these games, that's fine, but don't go claiming that it's for a good cause.
This cartoon character thing was very similar. Kind of redundant, actually. Very few people are actually going to be for child abuse. And if they are, do you really think they are going to label themselves by not changing their picture to make a statement? Nope. I saw a few people update their statuses encouraging others to change their pictures too and it said "every picture that's changed stops one child from being abused." Umm... forgive me but I don't get it. How is me changing my picture going to make some douchebag somewhere stop hitting his kid? It's not. It's bullshit. I mean, it was a sweet thought to change pictures to speak out against it, but not effective. I am all about volunteering and speaking out against things I feel are wrong, but these little Facebook games just aren't effective. Again, if you just want to do it for fun, do it. Don't go claiming it's for something special.
And last night this new thing started... Ugh. People were posting numbers and special messages for specific, unnamed people on their statuses. Apparently you send a random number to a person through a message and that person is supposed to post the number and their true feelings about you. I'm glad I never got one, I would have had fun with it and posted something like "4298: You're a douche. Everyone knows your a douche. Stop being so douchey." How about this, how about you send the response back in a private message!! If I don't know who or what you're talking about, I don't care to read it. Stop raping and trashing my news feed!! This stupid game blatantly violates my Facebook rules no. 1 & 2- Avoid "this is about YOU, but I'm not going to use your name" status updates and avoid status updates that are just notes to a specific person. Geez, people...
These aren't necessarily bad ideas, just poorly thought through ones. There was a twist on the concept of the cartoon pictures thing for Veteran's day and in my opinion, that was a MUCH better use of Facebook to make a point. People were changing their profile pictures to include a veteran close to their heart and I thought this was FANTASTIC!! There's really nothing to speak out for or against in this instance, it's just a really sweet way of saying "I love this person and they make me proud!" Take notes! This is how it's done! The doppelganger thing was good too, because it wasn't masquerading as something else. Saying "Hey, this is who I think I look like" can be entertaining at times. Bottom line: Facebook status/picture games are dumb. Wanna play a long, drawn out, boring game that loves to overstay it's welcome? Play Monopoly.
On a side note, I really do love to play Monopoly... Oh the irony!
It started with the damn bra colors for breast cancer awareness. I didn't fully understand the point of this. We're women, we have boobies. Of course we're against breast cancer. And I'm pretty sure 99% of the adult population is aware of breast cancer. Awareness isn't the goal, raising funds for research and to help find a cure is. How does me announcing my bra color to the world affect that? I participated in Walk for the Cure this year, and it's events like that that make a difference in stopping breast cancer. Sharing intimate details about my unmentionables doesn't make a difference. And the purse thing from this year? What does my purse and where I like to put it have with my boobies? If people just want to play these games, that's fine, but don't go claiming that it's for a good cause.
This cartoon character thing was very similar. Kind of redundant, actually. Very few people are actually going to be for child abuse. And if they are, do you really think they are going to label themselves by not changing their picture to make a statement? Nope. I saw a few people update their statuses encouraging others to change their pictures too and it said "every picture that's changed stops one child from being abused." Umm... forgive me but I don't get it. How is me changing my picture going to make some douchebag somewhere stop hitting his kid? It's not. It's bullshit. I mean, it was a sweet thought to change pictures to speak out against it, but not effective. I am all about volunteering and speaking out against things I feel are wrong, but these little Facebook games just aren't effective. Again, if you just want to do it for fun, do it. Don't go claiming it's for something special.
And last night this new thing started... Ugh. People were posting numbers and special messages for specific, unnamed people on their statuses. Apparently you send a random number to a person through a message and that person is supposed to post the number and their true feelings about you. I'm glad I never got one, I would have had fun with it and posted something like "4298: You're a douche. Everyone knows your a douche. Stop being so douchey." How about this, how about you send the response back in a private message!! If I don't know who or what you're talking about, I don't care to read it. Stop raping and trashing my news feed!! This stupid game blatantly violates my Facebook rules no. 1 & 2- Avoid "this is about YOU, but I'm not going to use your name" status updates and avoid status updates that are just notes to a specific person. Geez, people...
These aren't necessarily bad ideas, just poorly thought through ones. There was a twist on the concept of the cartoon pictures thing for Veteran's day and in my opinion, that was a MUCH better use of Facebook to make a point. People were changing their profile pictures to include a veteran close to their heart and I thought this was FANTASTIC!! There's really nothing to speak out for or against in this instance, it's just a really sweet way of saying "I love this person and they make me proud!" Take notes! This is how it's done! The doppelganger thing was good too, because it wasn't masquerading as something else. Saying "Hey, this is who I think I look like" can be entertaining at times. Bottom line: Facebook status/picture games are dumb. Wanna play a long, drawn out, boring game that loves to overstay it's welcome? Play Monopoly.
On a side note, I really do love to play Monopoly... Oh the irony!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
We Need New Role Models!!!!!
Yep, it's a two post kinda day for me. While we're on the oh-so-lovely subject of finance from this morning, I'd like to share a bit of news I just read on Google News- The Kardashian pre-paid debit card marketed to teens has been cancelled. Only two words come to mind...
THANK GOD!!!
This was such a bad idea, these are not the kind of girls you want influencing your kids. They may not be bad people, but certainly not who come to mind when I try to think of good financial role models. Didn't Kim have a shopping addiction at one point? Hmm... Yeah, let's let them teach kids how to balance a check book. That sounds smart.
Not only was this a dumb idea before the details were even finalized, it was so much more expensive than it was worth. Started at $99.95 for a year or $59.95 for six months, then $7.95 per month after that. Now let's think about this for a second... the whole point of this card was to teach teenagers how to manage their money. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't part of having good financial habits saving money where you can? These fees were MUCH higher than other pre-paid cards and even full service bank accounts. The message about these cards was not "use our card to help build solid banking habits and learn how to make good financial decisions." No, no... it was more like "pay us lots of money to use our card with our pretty, pretty pictures on it so you can pretend to be one of the cool kids and spend your allowance in plastic form." Apparently there were text features that kids could check their balances on, and again, not encouraging saving money. I pay for the unlimited text add on with Verizon for this purpose, and I get my money's worth. I makes me some good money choices, ma! Most people don't have this, especially parents of teenagers. Unlimited texts means unlimited distractions. So when they get all excited and check their balance after every purchase, they just spent $20 to check their balance 10 times in one day. Good managing of finances, I think not.
Here's another part of this that's just beyond me... if you're a high profile, good role model celebrity, you know it. If they had a Natalie Portman pre-paid card or a Kate Hudson pre-paid card, I could see that. Where are those cards? Those would be handy. And they probably wouldn't cost an arm and a leg to have. The Kardashians HAVE to know that they aren't America's favorite sisters. More like America's favorite eye-roll. Their show is appropriately titled, Keeping Up With the Kardashians. This just screams "high-strung." I'm sorry but I have enough trouble keeping up with my own family, why would I want to keep up with yours? No thanks.
THANK GOD!!!
This was such a bad idea, these are not the kind of girls you want influencing your kids. They may not be bad people, but certainly not who come to mind when I try to think of good financial role models. Didn't Kim have a shopping addiction at one point? Hmm... Yeah, let's let them teach kids how to balance a check book. That sounds smart.
Not only was this a dumb idea before the details were even finalized, it was so much more expensive than it was worth. Started at $99.95 for a year or $59.95 for six months, then $7.95 per month after that. Now let's think about this for a second... the whole point of this card was to teach teenagers how to manage their money. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't part of having good financial habits saving money where you can? These fees were MUCH higher than other pre-paid cards and even full service bank accounts. The message about these cards was not "use our card to help build solid banking habits and learn how to make good financial decisions." No, no... it was more like "pay us lots of money to use our card with our pretty, pretty pictures on it so you can pretend to be one of the cool kids and spend your allowance in plastic form." Apparently there were text features that kids could check their balances on, and again, not encouraging saving money. I pay for the unlimited text add on with Verizon for this purpose, and I get my money's worth. I makes me some good money choices, ma! Most people don't have this, especially parents of teenagers. Unlimited texts means unlimited distractions. So when they get all excited and check their balance after every purchase, they just spent $20 to check their balance 10 times in one day. Good managing of finances, I think not.
Here's another part of this that's just beyond me... if you're a high profile, good role model celebrity, you know it. If they had a Natalie Portman pre-paid card or a Kate Hudson pre-paid card, I could see that. Where are those cards? Those would be handy. And they probably wouldn't cost an arm and a leg to have. The Kardashians HAVE to know that they aren't America's favorite sisters. More like America's favorite eye-roll. Their show is appropriately titled, Keeping Up With the Kardashians. This just screams "high-strung." I'm sorry but I have enough trouble keeping up with my own family, why would I want to keep up with yours? No thanks.
I Love My Job. I Love My Job. I Love My Job. {Sigh} I Hate My Job
It's been a hot minute since I've blogged... I know, I know, I'm disappointed in myself too. I was doing so well! Truthfully, I haven't had too much to write about. Actually, scratch that. I haven't had too much to write about that hasn't involved people around me that probably wouldn't want to read about their shenanigans and exactly how I really feel about said shenanigans all over my blog.
Thanksgiving was great, until the day after. I have to work Black Friday every year. It's not so bad, in my line of work, it's actually the slowest day of the year for us. But the 5 or so customers I did help that day were in a crappy mood. I was actually in a great mood myself that day, I shopped online, put up our rather pitiful display of a Christmas tree for the bank and on top of it all, it was a Friday. I'm always great on Fridays. Would have been nice if it was the same for everyone else. What is it about the holidays that make people grow horns and tails? Come on people... it's not even about the presents for me, I don't like spending the money. I just enjoy putting up my decorations and cooking and spending time with family. That's what it's about, isn't it? I guess not like that for everyone.
Which brings me to an incident today that made me quit my job for all of 5 minutes. This guy wanted fee refunds. Oh joy oh joy. Now here's my deal about fees- very rarely are they in bank error. I can honestly say that in my 5+ years in this industry I have seen one, maaaybe two instances where fees just popped up without reason. This, my friends, is truly bank error. But it NEVER happens. Don't get me wrong, I hate my job and can't wait to get out of this blood sucking industry. I'm one of the good guys, but even I can't deny that true bank error chances are slim to none. And this job has ruined me to the point where when someone sits down at my desk and starts with, "It's really a funny story, actually..." I know it will be anything but funny. It's probably going to be quite the opposite.
So anyway, this guy. We offer these handy-dandy online alerts that send you emails when your balance falls below a certain level, if a direct deposit posts, and so on and so forth. These are TOOLS, people! Not a "solve-everything-in-the-world" excuse for not balancing your checkbook. This guy swore he didn't get his alert email so the fees were in bank error. ?!?!?! Right. And I know there are plenty of well educated, reasonable people reading this that would probably agree with me that his point is balderdash. If his Internet was down and couldn't get to his email, he wouldn't get that one either. Would that be bank error? Umm... no. Let me be clear, I love technology, but it doesn't solve all problems. How many times have we sent emails that just never went? Be honest- it happens. But even then- these alerts won't go until after all the transactions have posted. Banking isn't real-time. I wish it was, that would be nice. My first questions for him as a banker? Do you keep a register? No. Do you check your account online? No. Do you ever call to check your balance over the phone? No. So this guy was using this tool and ONLY this tool to keep track of his accounts. I may be over-paranoid because of my job but this is not enough. Why do people so clearly ignore what's going on with their money? It's beyond me. This guy ultimately gets pissy with me and walks off. Riiiight. People just don't get it- fee refunds are like band aids. I have PLENTY of stuff I can give you to prevent this from happening again. Think long term! But noooo... people don't want prevention, they want band aids. Would you just run around like a damn fool and skin your knee 24/7 and keep slapping band aids on it? Nope, you'd stop running around like a damn fool. Same concept, and not a difficult one at that. Oh, and said guy insisted on telling me I know nothing before storming out of my office like a 2 year old. Um... ok?
Which brings me to another point- why do people annoy the individuals who handle their money? Let me be clear, I am not one of those employees who would actually mess with people's money out of retaliation. It's like spitting in people's food if you work in food service. I could never bring myself to do that, no matter how badly I wanted to. But still, it should be pretty basic common sense to treat these types of customer service representatives nicely. I guess it's not. Maybe this should be a class that's covered in schools. That, and basic banking. Maybe sex ed should wait a year or so and be replaced with these.
Thanksgiving was great, until the day after. I have to work Black Friday every year. It's not so bad, in my line of work, it's actually the slowest day of the year for us. But the 5 or so customers I did help that day were in a crappy mood. I was actually in a great mood myself that day, I shopped online, put up our rather pitiful display of a Christmas tree for the bank and on top of it all, it was a Friday. I'm always great on Fridays. Would have been nice if it was the same for everyone else. What is it about the holidays that make people grow horns and tails? Come on people... it's not even about the presents for me, I don't like spending the money. I just enjoy putting up my decorations and cooking and spending time with family. That's what it's about, isn't it? I guess not like that for everyone.
Which brings me to an incident today that made me quit my job for all of 5 minutes. This guy wanted fee refunds. Oh joy oh joy. Now here's my deal about fees- very rarely are they in bank error. I can honestly say that in my 5+ years in this industry I have seen one, maaaybe two instances where fees just popped up without reason. This, my friends, is truly bank error. But it NEVER happens. Don't get me wrong, I hate my job and can't wait to get out of this blood sucking industry. I'm one of the good guys, but even I can't deny that true bank error chances are slim to none. And this job has ruined me to the point where when someone sits down at my desk and starts with, "It's really a funny story, actually..." I know it will be anything but funny. It's probably going to be quite the opposite.
So anyway, this guy. We offer these handy-dandy online alerts that send you emails when your balance falls below a certain level, if a direct deposit posts, and so on and so forth. These are TOOLS, people! Not a "solve-everything-in-the-world" excuse for not balancing your checkbook. This guy swore he didn't get his alert email so the fees were in bank error. ?!?!?! Right. And I know there are plenty of well educated, reasonable people reading this that would probably agree with me that his point is balderdash. If his Internet was down and couldn't get to his email, he wouldn't get that one either. Would that be bank error? Umm... no. Let me be clear, I love technology, but it doesn't solve all problems. How many times have we sent emails that just never went? Be honest- it happens. But even then- these alerts won't go until after all the transactions have posted. Banking isn't real-time. I wish it was, that would be nice. My first questions for him as a banker? Do you keep a register? No. Do you check your account online? No. Do you ever call to check your balance over the phone? No. So this guy was using this tool and ONLY this tool to keep track of his accounts. I may be over-paranoid because of my job but this is not enough. Why do people so clearly ignore what's going on with their money? It's beyond me. This guy ultimately gets pissy with me and walks off. Riiiight. People just don't get it- fee refunds are like band aids. I have PLENTY of stuff I can give you to prevent this from happening again. Think long term! But noooo... people don't want prevention, they want band aids. Would you just run around like a damn fool and skin your knee 24/7 and keep slapping band aids on it? Nope, you'd stop running around like a damn fool. Same concept, and not a difficult one at that. Oh, and said guy insisted on telling me I know nothing before storming out of my office like a 2 year old. Um... ok?
Which brings me to another point- why do people annoy the individuals who handle their money? Let me be clear, I am not one of those employees who would actually mess with people's money out of retaliation. It's like spitting in people's food if you work in food service. I could never bring myself to do that, no matter how badly I wanted to. But still, it should be pretty basic common sense to treat these types of customer service representatives nicely. I guess it's not. Maybe this should be a class that's covered in schools. That, and basic banking. Maybe sex ed should wait a year or so and be replaced with these.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Enough Drama For 2010
OK so last night sucked. It was fun, up until a certain point. It was intense.
I went out with a good friend from work, another friend who is an old Army buddy of my husband's, my bestie and his boyfriend. And a douchebag. He decided he likes my friend who is the old Army buddy, we'll call her "Lollapalooza." She wants to just be friends, which she'd made perfectly clear. He comes out with us anyway and is one cocky mother fudger the whole night. Interrupting people and talking like he knows everything. Some of the most annoying traits possible. We made it the nights mission to get rid of him, whether it be lose him on the road or leave and go somewhere else without telling him. So Lollapalooza has one too many and my friend from work pairs up with me to try to get her to not drive. After about 30-45 minutes of struggling with her, we give up. I have a strong belief that adults should be in control of themselves and we all live with our choices. So this guy starts calling me a shitty friend, because I'm not forcing her. I told him I am not her mother and have no control over her, and that I tried but I can only do so much. His response? This apparently means that I don't care. I tell him that I do care and he doesn't know me so he should shut up the you-know-what up or get the you-know-what out, that he wasn't wanted there in the first place. Hey, I'm an honest person. He walks away. Point taken. Or so I thought...
Douchebag comes back and sits on the bench at the opposite end of me. I walk over and tell him as nicely but firmly as I could, "Did you misunderstand? You're no longer welcome in this group. I can't make you leave but you need to leave us alone." Something to that effect, there was probably more profanity than that. I do vividly recall being careful with my choice of words. Oh, and I left out the part about him taking advantage of Lollapalooza while she's at the peak of inebriation. Big no-no in my book. His response... "I can buy and sell you and your whole stupid family, you fat ass whore." Ummm... excuse me? Now let's pause the story for a second- what does having money have to do with this?? Alright, you've got money... random, but ok. Good for you, do you want a scooby snack? None of us that were there could wrap our heads around this, during or after. But anywho... he called me a bad name. One I don't take to hearing very well. I slapped him. Yeah, I'd been dealing with him for about 6 hours at this point against my will, so it was overdue. My bestie and his boyfriend pop up just in time to hold me back. I'm not able to do anything to him at this point, but for some reason he decides to take it a step further anyway. He hits me in the throat. Yeah... for those of you who haven't noticed, I am a girl. I can take a hit, but I shouldn't have to. Hitting this guy was a first for me, and I did go through my options in my head. He deserved it. Period. The security guards get involved and after some serious he-said, she-said, he is escorted out. I wish I could say the story stops here.
We leave about 30 minutes later and when I get to my car, I get the urge to check it. Good thing I did. The bastard had keyed my trunk. I love my car, you don't mess with the Cap'n. How do I know it was him? I put my purse in my trunk when I go out, this night was no exception. It wasn't there earlier and it'd be a huge coincidence if the one night I have a major altercation, my car gets keyed by some random stranger. He also knew what kind of car I drove because everyone had followed me there and we all parked in a row. Not a hard thing to figure out. I filed a police report, which I am well aware, is a dead end. But I did in anyway, and the physical assault part of it is in there. Again, dead end. But I felt better.
Here's where the funny shit started happening. While I'm on hold with the PD about my report, my work friend is standing next to me. She left her keys in the car and the door open. We see this guy walk over to her car, get in and shut the door. Not believing what we're seeing, we run over and open the door. Leave it to me, while I'm feeling mouthy, to tell him to get the you-know-what out of the car. He looks at me and throws his hands up like I'm crazy. He has her phone in his hand, just making his drunk ass at home. Oh. My. God. After my apparently-necessary explanation that this car was not his, he gets out, walks about 40 feet away, turns around, and starts yelling at me calling me a bitch. I was super popular last night, that's for sure.
A few things I want to make note of. First, should I have slapped this guy? Most probably not. It wasn't a good decision, I'll admit that. Did he deserve it? Absolutely. Men need to learn that you don't talk to women that way, no matter how much of a bitch she is. I'm good at that, I know this about myself. But again, I won't whip out that part of my personality if it isn't deserved. Second, was I right about backing off of my friend to let her drive drunk? We've all been in this position and I can't say I was right, but I can honestly say that I did what I could. I loves me some Lollapalooza, but she's one tough girl and I wasn't about to get into a wrestling fight with her for her keys. She'd have won. She was in the Army, for Christ's sake! She was trained to beat me, and why fight a losing battle? We've learned for next time. I have enough people close to me who have had DUI's to know that you cannot force an adult to do anything. It is their choice. After over a half an hour of trying to reason with an intoxicated friend, anyone would give up. I did the very best I could with what I had. Anyone who criticizes my choices for how I handled this evening needs to ask themselves... would you have been able to do any differently?
I went out with a good friend from work, another friend who is an old Army buddy of my husband's, my bestie and his boyfriend. And a douchebag. He decided he likes my friend who is the old Army buddy, we'll call her "Lollapalooza." She wants to just be friends, which she'd made perfectly clear. He comes out with us anyway and is one cocky mother fudger the whole night. Interrupting people and talking like he knows everything. Some of the most annoying traits possible. We made it the nights mission to get rid of him, whether it be lose him on the road or leave and go somewhere else without telling him. So Lollapalooza has one too many and my friend from work pairs up with me to try to get her to not drive. After about 30-45 minutes of struggling with her, we give up. I have a strong belief that adults should be in control of themselves and we all live with our choices. So this guy starts calling me a shitty friend, because I'm not forcing her. I told him I am not her mother and have no control over her, and that I tried but I can only do so much. His response? This apparently means that I don't care. I tell him that I do care and he doesn't know me so he should shut up the you-know-what up or get the you-know-what out, that he wasn't wanted there in the first place. Hey, I'm an honest person. He walks away. Point taken. Or so I thought...
Douchebag comes back and sits on the bench at the opposite end of me. I walk over and tell him as nicely but firmly as I could, "Did you misunderstand? You're no longer welcome in this group. I can't make you leave but you need to leave us alone." Something to that effect, there was probably more profanity than that. I do vividly recall being careful with my choice of words. Oh, and I left out the part about him taking advantage of Lollapalooza while she's at the peak of inebriation. Big no-no in my book. His response... "I can buy and sell you and your whole stupid family, you fat ass whore." Ummm... excuse me? Now let's pause the story for a second- what does having money have to do with this?? Alright, you've got money... random, but ok. Good for you, do you want a scooby snack? None of us that were there could wrap our heads around this, during or after. But anywho... he called me a bad name. One I don't take to hearing very well. I slapped him. Yeah, I'd been dealing with him for about 6 hours at this point against my will, so it was overdue. My bestie and his boyfriend pop up just in time to hold me back. I'm not able to do anything to him at this point, but for some reason he decides to take it a step further anyway. He hits me in the throat. Yeah... for those of you who haven't noticed, I am a girl. I can take a hit, but I shouldn't have to. Hitting this guy was a first for me, and I did go through my options in my head. He deserved it. Period. The security guards get involved and after some serious he-said, she-said, he is escorted out. I wish I could say the story stops here.
We leave about 30 minutes later and when I get to my car, I get the urge to check it. Good thing I did. The bastard had keyed my trunk. I love my car, you don't mess with the Cap'n. How do I know it was him? I put my purse in my trunk when I go out, this night was no exception. It wasn't there earlier and it'd be a huge coincidence if the one night I have a major altercation, my car gets keyed by some random stranger. He also knew what kind of car I drove because everyone had followed me there and we all parked in a row. Not a hard thing to figure out. I filed a police report, which I am well aware, is a dead end. But I did in anyway, and the physical assault part of it is in there. Again, dead end. But I felt better.
Here's where the funny shit started happening. While I'm on hold with the PD about my report, my work friend is standing next to me. She left her keys in the car and the door open. We see this guy walk over to her car, get in and shut the door. Not believing what we're seeing, we run over and open the door. Leave it to me, while I'm feeling mouthy, to tell him to get the you-know-what out of the car. He looks at me and throws his hands up like I'm crazy. He has her phone in his hand, just making his drunk ass at home. Oh. My. God. After my apparently-necessary explanation that this car was not his, he gets out, walks about 40 feet away, turns around, and starts yelling at me calling me a bitch. I was super popular last night, that's for sure.
A few things I want to make note of. First, should I have slapped this guy? Most probably not. It wasn't a good decision, I'll admit that. Did he deserve it? Absolutely. Men need to learn that you don't talk to women that way, no matter how much of a bitch she is. I'm good at that, I know this about myself. But again, I won't whip out that part of my personality if it isn't deserved. Second, was I right about backing off of my friend to let her drive drunk? We've all been in this position and I can't say I was right, but I can honestly say that I did what I could. I loves me some Lollapalooza, but she's one tough girl and I wasn't about to get into a wrestling fight with her for her keys. She'd have won. She was in the Army, for Christ's sake! She was trained to beat me, and why fight a losing battle? We've learned for next time. I have enough people close to me who have had DUI's to know that you cannot force an adult to do anything. It is their choice. After over a half an hour of trying to reason with an intoxicated friend, anyone would give up. I did the very best I could with what I had. Anyone who criticizes my choices for how I handled this evening needs to ask themselves... would you have been able to do any differently?
Monday, November 15, 2010
Jessica Simpson and Who????
Just read on Google news that Jessica Simpson just got engaged to some bloke named Eric Johnson. The only description of him is that he's an "ex-football player." Doesn't say he was NFL or anything. Hmm... I have no idea who this guy is. I find it strangely suspicious that this is oh-so-closely following her ex-husband Nick Lachey's recent engagement. Supposedly she said just last month that this Eric character is "just a friend." It's almost like she heard about Nick's upcoming nuptials and scrambled for someone to marry so she could be engaged too. How dare he get remarried before her, what nerve. Ugh. She could have just made another reality show for it, Who Wants to Be a Newlywed? It would have certainly turned some spotlights (albeit, negative ones) in her direction for the first time in years. I looked at the grand total of 6 pictures of Jessica and Eric together and they do NOT look like they are in love. I'll give them this, they do look like a couple, but not one about to walk down the aisle by any means. I hate keeping up with celebrity relationships. I can never tell how much of it is publicity and how much are real relationships. Some are just too perfect or crazy or convenient to be anything but fake.
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are an excellent example of this. I don't know how much more I can say about these two that hasn't already been said. He's batshit crazy. She doesn't appear to be that happy, nowhere near the state of ecstasy she was in when they first met. Welcome to the real world, toots. He's become a quite outspoken yutz and I have a theory that he's struggling with the fact that he's not the hot young stud he was a million years ago. Most people can agree that we can watch Top Gun and War of the Worlds back to back and see a HUGE difference, like it's a completely different actor. I think that Katie just married him to live out the dream most girls born in the 70's and 80's had- grow up and marry Tom Cruise. Childhood infatuations should stay in the past, because this has obviously not panned out the way she'd thought it would. Duh. I wanted to grow up and be a unicorn, and needless to say, my goals have changed a bit since then.
And a more recent marriage that has my mind in a tizzy is Russell Brand and Katy Perry. Honestly, a cute couple and they are both a little kooky so it could work but this relationship has me singing "D-I-V-O-R-C-E" in my head anyway. They didn't seem to be together that long before the engagement and these two strike me as nothing if not impulsive. They clearly love attention, so what could be better than getting it by marrying an equally flamboyant counterpart? The really good thing they have going for them is that so far, they've kept things pretty private. Spotlights and marriages don't like each other, it's been proven. They mixed spotlights and wedding rings together in little test tubes and surprise, they blew up.
I really do feel for celebrities, because going back to my views on the show Teen Mom, it's hard to have a healthy relationship with everyone watching. Not only are you being pulled in 10 different directions with fans, promotional events, award shows and actually working, the few seconds you're given alone each day are usually spent wiping your ass. Marriage is tough enough in the normal, average world us ordinary paupers live in. Add boo coos of money, personal assistants, millions of adoring fans and agents telling you what to do and where to be and it'd be a straight up nightmare.
I really do feel for celebrities, because going back to my views on the show Teen Mom, it's hard to have a healthy relationship with everyone watching. Not only are you being pulled in 10 different directions with fans, promotional events, award shows and actually working, the few seconds you're given alone each day are usually spent wiping your ass. Marriage is tough enough in the normal, average world us ordinary paupers live in. Add boo coos of money, personal assistants, millions of adoring fans and agents telling you what to do and where to be and it'd be a straight up nightmare.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Let's Talk About Cheating
OOO I love hot, controversial topics! Because there are so many obvious factors that people just don't bother to touch on. I think the majority of America has been in a cheating situation in one way or another, whether they've been cheated on, done the cheating, watched a parent cheat, been there for a bestie who's been cheated on, etc. etc. I'd like to think that the majority of the population knows and feels that cheating is wrong, but if that were the case, then why do 50% of women and 60% of men still do it? This just doesn't make sense to me. And then there are the schmucks who take them back. Yup, I said it. Schmucks. I've been one of these schmucks on more than one occasion so I can say that.
Sienna Miller is one of America's Crown Schmucks right now. She hasn't "confirmed" a reconciliation with Jude Law, but she's certainly allowing him to come close enough without clawing his eyeballs out. Especially after being publicly humiliated and made to look like a fool, you'd think that urge would never go away. At least for me, it wouldn't. I'm amazing at holding grudges, it's impressive how easily I can scrub people from my life. I felt so sorry for this girl and was actually pretty proud of her leaving his cheating ass the first time. He's pretty, I'm sure that wasn't an easy choice. If he does it again, I'll be damned if I give her a second thought of pity. This is part of why Sandra Bullock is my idol! Jesse cheated on her and she'd have NONE of it! As we say in Texas, (and we all know she's an implanted Texan! Yeehaw!) Adios, amigo! Sandy is HILARIOUS but she strikes me as the type of woman you just don't cross. I really wonder how the conversation went when she approached him with this bit of "news." Oh Em Gee... Fly. Wall. Pay lots of money.
Which brings me to my oh-so-popular, everyone-wants-to-know (insert sarcastic laughter here) opinion on cheating. I made the decisions to go back to these men after the fact because I felt in my heart that it was the right thing to do. There were a lot of factors that went into it for me, like how long we'd been together, if behaviors had been building up to it, blah blah blah. If they had done it again, the person I'd have had to hate for it would be me. My mama raised me right- fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. Bottom line- take a cheater back, accept the risk. If you get hurt again, it's your bad. I love love LOVE that line from Pay it Forward where Helen Hunt hides in her son's room after realizing her ex-husband is still an abusive prick. "I think I made a mistake!" with very obvious OOPS undertones! Not cheating by any means, but a very similar sensitive subject. We'll go there another day. She very clearly took responsibility for her choice and didn't look for sympathy from anyone. Take notes, people. Detailed ones. If you're gonna give bad behavior a second chance, do everyone a favor and learn to be strong enough to stand on your own two feet and make the tough decision when it happens again.
Sienna Miller is one of America's Crown Schmucks right now. She hasn't "confirmed" a reconciliation with Jude Law, but she's certainly allowing him to come close enough without clawing his eyeballs out. Especially after being publicly humiliated and made to look like a fool, you'd think that urge would never go away. At least for me, it wouldn't. I'm amazing at holding grudges, it's impressive how easily I can scrub people from my life. I felt so sorry for this girl and was actually pretty proud of her leaving his cheating ass the first time. He's pretty, I'm sure that wasn't an easy choice. If he does it again, I'll be damned if I give her a second thought of pity. This is part of why Sandra Bullock is my idol! Jesse cheated on her and she'd have NONE of it! As we say in Texas, (and we all know she's an implanted Texan! Yeehaw!) Adios, amigo! Sandy is HILARIOUS but she strikes me as the type of woman you just don't cross. I really wonder how the conversation went when she approached him with this bit of "news." Oh Em Gee... Fly. Wall. Pay lots of money.
Which brings me to my oh-so-popular, everyone-wants-to-know (insert sarcastic laughter here) opinion on cheating. I made the decisions to go back to these men after the fact because I felt in my heart that it was the right thing to do. There were a lot of factors that went into it for me, like how long we'd been together, if behaviors had been building up to it, blah blah blah. If they had done it again, the person I'd have had to hate for it would be me. My mama raised me right- fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. Bottom line- take a cheater back, accept the risk. If you get hurt again, it's your bad. I love love LOVE that line from Pay it Forward where Helen Hunt hides in her son's room after realizing her ex-husband is still an abusive prick. "I think I made a mistake!" with very obvious OOPS undertones! Not cheating by any means, but a very similar sensitive subject. We'll go there another day. She very clearly took responsibility for her choice and didn't look for sympathy from anyone. Take notes, people. Detailed ones. If you're gonna give bad behavior a second chance, do everyone a favor and learn to be strong enough to stand on your own two feet and make the tough decision when it happens again.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
16 and Stupid
Let's talk about teen pregnancy. More specifically, MTV's attempt at glamorizing it. This is a subject that is very near and dear to my heart because I was a teen mom once upon a time. It's not an easy journey and no choice is easy. I go through so many mixed emotions watching this show and it's pretty exhausting. Cry, get angry, cry, get angry, laugh, get shocked, cry again. Oye vey. Macy and Caitlin make me proud, Farrah makes me want to throw things at the TV and Amber makes me speechless. Yeah, let's talk about Amber. And the Class D felony charge she's facing after slapping and punching her on-again, off-again boyfriend. This has to be the stupidest thing I've ever seen. Gary is one big mofo, I highly doubt she could hurt him with her bare hands. He just takes it like a champ! And look at that face! Ugh, don't you just want to slap it off of her?!? Good job, Gary, for resisting that urge because I sure as hell couldn't.
God this girl needs to grow up. Granted, this is a show produced by MTV, so you never know what they could just be throwing out there for ratings. As of right now, law enforcement has subpoenaed MTV for the unedited tapes of this show so they can decide if they are going to charge her. I'm wondering what kind of publicity this is going to bring the show, and I'm sorta hoping it gets pulled. Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant makes teenage pregnancy look all fine and dandy but from someone who's been there before, I can tell you, it's not.
Another aspect of this show is the fact that the fame has most likely damaged the small chance these girls had to be good moms. I've known plenty of girls who got pregnant young, kept and raised their babies on their own and it's been a struggle but they (and their children) have survived! Look what has happened so far with these poor girls- Amber has struggled with prescription abuse and done lost her marbles by turning into a Class A bitch. Farrah's mom beat her ass, although I'm not so sure I could blame her for that one. I'd have a hard time resisting that one too. Would these events have taken place if these kids weren't under the public eye, followed by camera 90% of their day? No one knows but I choose to believe that the lives of all parties involved would have been SO much better if they had lived this very sensitive, very intimate part of their lives off camera.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)