Today's entry was inspired by a story my friend told me. This probably won't be as funny coming from my mouth, but you'll get the gist of it. She was driving home from work and accidentally cut off another driver and was given the bird. That's not the funny part, though... the lady was driving a minivan decorated with antlers and a red nose. And it wasn't just a casual flip the bird and drive away, it was a two hander set. Apparently this lady took the holiday spirit of "two turtle doves" a bit too far.
Which brings me to today's point: When you're being douchey, you know it. When I'm in a pissy mood and feel like being a bitch, I am well aware of my actions. That doesn't happen often, but I've been known on occasion to express myself a bit more than I should. See November 21's post for proof of this. What is wrong with people? I just don't understand people that are nasty, know they are nasty, and don't give a rat's ass. I'm an honest person, whether I know you or not, but honesty doesn't have to come with bitchiness. The fact that people can be douchebags even during this time of year is beyond me. People should start checking their attitudes with their coats because I am over it. I have to be careful with this, because I'm likely to speak my mind about this at the most inopportune time, like oh, say... I don't know... at WORK!! That'd be a lovely Christmas present for my husband, I can hear how that conversation would pan out- "Hey hon, how was your day? You know how you always said you wanted me to be able to quit my job and do nothing but cook and clean and help take care of the family alllll day long? Well... MERRY CHRISTMAS!!" I'm not a very fast runner but I'm having a feeling I'd be working my best Sonic the Hedgehog impression.
I'm pretty sure these people are just like this because they think their shit don't stink, which again, confuses the hell out of me. How can people honestly think that they are THAT much better than the rest of the population? Do they honestly not see how that ridiculous that looks to everyone else? I've decided to be a smart ass and take this to the next level just to show them how silly it really is... I'm going to start carrying around little day glow cans of spray paint, and whenever I feel justified, I'm gonna write my name all over shit. Someone wants to cut me off going through the door? Um... no sir. I'll whip out my can and write my name on the damn door. Cutting me off on the road??! NO MA'AM!!!! I will stop this car, get out, and graffiti my name ALLLL over I-40. OOO and going to Christmas parties would be effing awesome, because if I want to monopolize the food table and take all the good shit all the while shooting nasty looks at peeps who think I should share, I'll just spray paint the entire table with my signature, food and all. A tad extreme, you say? I think we hit the extremist level about 3-4 decades ago. Because I honestly think that's the only way to show these people just what they look like. Stupid, immature, possessive, cocky, all of the above.
Bottom line- if you feel this amazing sense of entitlement, keep it to yourself. If it doesn't fit on your property, it's not yours. If it's in a public place, you have to share. If you honestly want a roadway to yourself, buy a segue and use sidewalks. No one uses those anymore anyway, have a ball, you're likely to have it all to yourself. If you ask for something and are told no, deal: if you had to ask, it was clearly out of your hands in the first place. If you just don't like someone, keep it to yourself, chances are the feeling is mutual. And in the off chance that the person you don't like is one of the .002% of the population that actually is entitled, you're going to look pretty silly, aren't ya?
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