It's a new kind of chaos around here, one where I am constantly watching a puppy out of the corner of my eye, making sure she doesn't pee or steal my slippers. I am making sure my adult dog does not feel neglected, which is turning out to be easier than I thought it'd be because she has become somewhat of an escape for me. She is pretty well house trained, she comes to me for lovings because that's really all she wants from me- love. I am alone with my step daughter this weekend because my husband is out of town visiting a friend. She can really be a handful, because she's overly sensitive and that is not a trait that I can easily relate to. My husband and I were in agreement on how to handle this, but he has had a bit of an epiphany that no longer agrees with what I truly feel is right, so I'm struggling with that. I had two of my old coworkers from the bank come over last night for an impromptu "game night" which was a blast. You never realize how much you associate people as family until your routines that involve them change drastically. Life has changed for me, and strangely, I didn't stop to take notice of just how different it is until I smelled something foul and had to ask myself, "who farted?" It wasn't me, it could have been my adult doberman, Isis, who is loving these new, long days with mommy. It could have been my step daughter, who I am so rarely alone with or it could be the new doberman puppy, Juno.
I am alone in the house more now than I ever was before. But I don't feel the loneliness like I did when I was working. It's hard to come home to a house devoid of human interaction. True, I didn't do it often, but when you only get 57-ish hours of conscious time at home each week, only a few hours of alone time while the spouse is at work take away from that number drastically. I've found that I'm happier. I know this time is short lived, because if I make it into the nursing program in the fall, this will be over and I'll return to the land of 8 hour days. So I'm enjoying it. And I'm learning a lot about myself, namely the things that I didn't know I'd actually enjoy doing. Like making my bed. I love having a smoothly made bed in the morning, strange as it sounds. Quiet evenings at home when I'm by myself, with a movie or a book. I'm no longer in a hurry to get things done, which has given me the time to rape my house, so to speak. Somewhere between 15 and 20 trash bags of I-couldn't-tell-you-what and 3 weeks later, my house is organized. I sometimes just stare at my newly rearranged closets and admire the emptiness. And I actually have time to do well in my classes. It's nice.
Wow this was a big change from my normal blog entry theme but hey, we could all use some more docile posts every once in a while. What, did you think I'm like that all the time?? I'm annoying enough being "ranty" 50% of the time, 100% might be overkill.
