^#*&$*(@))!#:"?!@#&*(@!!??@@@!}@^%#(!!!!!!!

There just are not words... I am at a loss for words... I am utterly speechless... I'm gonna try this, don't get me wrong... but it might turn out to be a disorganized jumble of nonsensical nonsense. Which is pretty much what it looks like in my head, so hey, you'll be seeing it exactly how I envisioned it.

Anyone seen the previews for Never Say Never yet? Anybody? Anyone? Bueller... Bueller... {crickets} For the lucky people who get to say no to this question, I will enlighten you. But I cannot guarantee that it won't sneak up on you like a ninja rapist in the middle of a night where you chose to sleep with the window open because it's oh-so-nice outside. If you aren't able to dive for the remote in time, you are likely to be scarred. Like me.

Pop quiz... who is my least favorite celebrity teen in the whole wide world? If you said Miley Cyrus, you'd have been right. Okay, second least favorite... That Bieber creature. This movie that is coming soon (the release date has been blocked from my memory, something about repressing the damaging thoughts) is about HIM!!!! Hold up, gotta puke... Alright, done for n... wait... yeah, I think I'm done. For a few minutes anyway. This kid is what, 12? I'm pretty sure he's a little older, but he's frozen in time for me, because he doesn't appear to have aged since some talent scout fell and did some serious marble damage and signed this nitwit. Yeah, I called him a nitwit. What of it? Michael Jackson got a movie, but he had to die first. Oh and he'd been doing it his ENTIRE life. He died at 50, so I'm pretty sure he'd been at the entertainment game for like 55 years. No that was no typo, I meant 55. Plus, Michael Jackson was a "suspected" pedophile and is STILL considered a legend. That, and he was just an odd bloke, let's all admit it. But nobody cared because we got Thriller, Smooth Criminal and Billie Jean out of it, and he made Free Willy worth seeing because of the awesome soundtrack. So let's go back to my mind-f*** of the day... the year, really, I've hit my shock and disgust quota, anymore might cause me to keel over and become self-comatose. The Bieber creature has been doing this for five minutes compared to Michael "Yes, I DID invent the moonwalk!" Jackson. And he gets a movie?? I've won plenty of grammys in my shower, where's MY movie?? Ugh... And the worst part of all this? If I decide to see a movie in the next few months, I'm gonna have to sit outside the movie theater until the previews are over just to ensure that I miss any further tainting. And all my TV shows will have to be DVRed so I can fast forward the commercials just to further ascertain that I will miss seeing this... this... SHIT again in the comfort of my own home. And did I mention they feel the need to broadcast this waste of money in 3D??? Umm... no thanks, if I wanted the FULL Bieber creature experience, I'd go to a concert. But I don't want to, so I won't. I won't even see the movie so this really doesn't pertain to me. I am not the target audience.

And bullet-in-my-head OH EM GEEEEEE!!! My step daughter has decided she likes the music of said swamp creature. I'm gonna have to damper that shit STAT!!! When she comes back on Wednesday I'm just gonna tell her he died. And his music died with him. Sorry toots.

And this has inspired me to post a sign on my door... Ya know how people post those "no soliciting" signs on their doors? I'm gonna post on that says "Bieber Free Zone" and anyone who mentions his name or music will get kicked to the curb. And banned permanently. OOOO Maybe I can teach my dog to respond to "Bieber" as an attack word... hmmm...