I've always thought the "prophecy" about 12-23-12 being the end of the world was rubbish. My theory? If you were given a pencil and a couple of hundred pieces of paper and told "Here's the format, make a calendar and keep going as far as you can," you'd get pretty stinkin' tired after a while. You'd make it a couple of thousand years or so before you'd think to yourself, "I've given them plenty, they may not even live that long and even if they do, they can pick it up from there." For some reason, this generation of idiots has concluded that this means the world is ending on that precise day. There is no actual written prediction of this, we just like focusing on the end of the world. My mom is one of these people. Everything is a sign and falls into this great master plan that the world will end on a specific time after certain events take place. My opinions? It's not happening now, so pass me a beer and we can forget about it for a while. The truth about this date? It's the first day of the 14th b'ak'tun, which is basically just a specific measurement for a specific chunk of time. We've just translated the end of a calendar to just that- the end of time. Which is dumb.
Which brings me back to how tiring this colossal task would be. I'm an artsy-craftsy kinda girl, and I got a wild hair up my ass and decided to make a day planner for 2011. Next time I mention this, send me a comment or an email and remind me how stupid I was for trying this in the first place. Think about it- you fold a page and it has page 1 on the left and page 2 on the right. Fold another and stick it inside the first set of pages and what was page 2 now becomes page 4. OK so now that you have the idea of how that works, I have to fold 8 pieces of paper and put them inside of each other. And there are 5 sections just like that. Imagine the typing, the printing, the folding... Ugh. I'm a dumbass for thinking this up. Now that I've done this, my 2012 theory has just been further solidified. It's tiring. It's a lot of work. It's confusing. And I've gone through more Excedrin in the past week than I have in a lifetime. But they've turned out nicely, so it wasn't for nothing. But stttiiiiiilllllllllll....
I'm going to hop off that soapbox and mosey over to another. This is not a pretty subject, but one that must be covered. Plumber's butt. Yeah, I'm gonna go there. I saw the worst one I've ever seen in my life. One of those dirty jeans, top of the Hanes tighty-whities hanging out, splotchy red, fat-as-f*** numbers. No, I didn't look on purpose and I darted my glance another way the second I realized what I was looking at. But I have a semi photographic memory, and these are the kind of mental pictures that have a tendency to overstay their welcome. Why can't my memories from Christmases or vacations be that way... I forget those pretty stinking easily. And this brings me to another common theme from previous entries... how do you not know that this is happening??? Especially in this guy's case, paired with the weather we've been having, how do you NOT feel a draft??? When enough skin is showing to project IMAX films on, you can't not notice it. The concept of a belt escapes these men. Or women, in some cases, but people seem to complain a lot less about those. I wonder why... I think I'm scarred for life, this guy didn't even have the sense to give everyone a courtesy hike of the britches. Oh, and I forgot to mention, I was standing directly behind him in line. Not like I can just run and hide, as much as I wanted to...
Excuse me, I have to go puke now. And then take a shower. Buh.
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