There have been a lot of funny things going on lately that I just couldn't possibly make up. So story time- I had to share!
First story- recall how I've been on this amazing diet and have lots bunches of weight (30 pounds, woohoo!) A byproduct of this is that my clothes no longer fit as snug as they once did. I'm not quite done with my weight loss yet so I don't see the point in buying new clothes at this point. But I am running out of things to wear. I went to play tennis last Monday with a dear friend and put on some stretchy pants. I figured they stretch wider, so they might shrink a bit with the smaller waist? Eh, my logic is usually flawed anyway. I'm going after this killer shot and hauling ass across the court to get it. I feel some weird action going on around my hips and glance down to see what's going on. MY PANTS WERE FALLING OFF!!! I gave up the ball, because I clearly had a bigger crisis at this point, and took care of it. They didn't fall all the way off, I stopped them right underneath my bum, but here's the kicker. Because again, you just can't make this shit up. I NEVER wear thongs on the reasoning that wedgies belong on fat pimply kids in middle school. It's just uncomfortable. I wear boy shorts. For SOME reason on this day, for the first time in over a year, I wore a thong. And we don't play at some fancy tennis club, we play at a public park surrounded by houses, so it's anyone's guess how many people saw my goodies. And because of my choice of unmentionables for the day, they got a much better show than they would have normally. Yeah... good feeling but also pretty embarrassing.
Second story- last Wednesday, I gave my last speech of the semester. I'm taking online classes so I have to record the speeches and submit them that way. Same friend from the tennis game allowed me to use her salon as the speaking location for it and I spoke for her, another friend and some employees there. I had to do this because of stupid reasons for the class. My topic was a demonstration speech on how to make my killer salsa. One of her first questions when she agreed to let me do this- "Will it make a mess?" I assured her it wouldn't. But this is my life we're talking about, there are no guarantees. When we got there, as I was setting up, I noticed that the plastic base of the blender pitcher was cracking and breaking. I was worried, but put it on the machine base and tried it out. Seemed to work fine, so I figured I'd dodged a bullet. Made it through the speech and the blender performed perfectly. Camera off, assignment done. I let down my guard too soon. Note about my salsa- it usually takes 2 blender loads to finish it all. I'd only done the one load on the speech tape, which was a good call on my part. Because when I went to finish the second load, as I picked the blender up to pour it out, that plastic base literally disintegrated. In case you were wondering if that plastic part has a job other than locking the blender pitcher in place, it really does. It's the ENTIRE bottom of the damn pitcher. What happens when it breaks and you try to lift it up? Kinda like the bottom of a bucket disappearing when it's full of water. Comes GUSHING out the bottom. My friend I'd brought with me scooped his hands underneath to make almost a bowl around the bottom, but it didn't do much. Like a band-aid on a bullet hole. Ugh. Went EVERYWHERE!! I felt horrible because what did I ASSURE my lovely salon owner friend beforehand? It would NOT make a mess!!!! She was understanding, thankfully, and even got a good laugh out of it. And I left the salsa with some chips there for her, the employees and clients to munch on throughout the day. So I sweetened the pot a bit. But yeah. If something can go horribly wrong for me, it usually does. Who would have thought this type of dilemma would happen outside of my home? My blender has never been used anywhere other than my kitchen, and it waits until we're somewhere else to go kaput. This just further solidifies my theory that inanimate objects really are out to get me.
So yeah... not huge stories, but the kind of situations where I couldn't help but laugh at myself.
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