We Need New Role Models!!!!!

Yep, it's a two post kinda day for me. While we're on the oh-so-lovely subject of finance from this morning, I'd like to share a bit of news I just read on Google News- The Kardashian pre-paid debit card marketed to teens has been cancelled. Only two words come to mind...

THANK GOD!!!

This was such a bad idea, these are not the kind of girls you want influencing your kids. They may not be bad people, but certainly not who come to mind when I try to think of good financial role models. Didn't Kim have a shopping addiction at one point? Hmm... Yeah, let's let them teach kids how to balance a check book. That sounds smart.

Not only was this a dumb idea before the details were even finalized, it was so much more expensive than it was worth. Started at $99.95 for a year or $59.95 for six months, then $7.95 per month after that. Now let's think about this for a second... the whole point of this card was to teach teenagers how to manage their money. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't part of having good financial habits saving money where you can? These fees were MUCH higher than other pre-paid cards and even full service bank accounts. The message about these cards was not "use our card to help build solid banking habits and learn how to make good financial decisions." No, no... it was more like "pay us lots of money to use our card with our pretty, pretty pictures on it so you can pretend to be one of the cool kids and spend your allowance in plastic form." Apparently there were text features that kids could check their balances on, and again, not encouraging saving money. I pay for the unlimited text add on with Verizon for this purpose, and I get my money's worth. I makes me some good money choices, ma! Most people don't have this, especially parents of teenagers. Unlimited texts means unlimited distractions. So when they get all excited and check their balance after every purchase, they just spent $20 to check their balance 10 times in one day. Good managing of finances, I think not.

Here's another part of this that's just beyond me... if you're a high profile, good role model celebrity, you know it. If they had a Natalie Portman pre-paid card or a Kate Hudson pre-paid card, I could see that. Where are those cards? Those would be handy. And they probably wouldn't cost an arm and a leg to have. The Kardashians HAVE to know that they aren't America's favorite sisters. More like America's favorite eye-roll. Their show is appropriately titled, Keeping Up With the Kardashians. This just screams "high-strung." I'm sorry but I have enough trouble keeping up with my own family, why would I want to keep up with yours? No thanks.

I Love My Job. I Love My Job. I Love My Job. {Sigh} I Hate My Job

It's been a hot minute since I've blogged... I know, I know, I'm disappointed in myself too. I was doing so well! Truthfully, I haven't had too much to write about. Actually, scratch that. I haven't had too much to write about that hasn't involved people around me that probably wouldn't want to read about their shenanigans and exactly how I really feel about said shenanigans all over my blog.

Thanksgiving was great, until the day after. I have to work Black Friday every year. It's not so bad, in my line of work, it's actually the slowest day of the year for us. But the 5 or so customers I did help that day were in a crappy mood. I was actually in a great mood myself that day, I shopped online, put up our rather pitiful display of a Christmas tree for the bank and on top of it all, it was a Friday. I'm always great on Fridays. Would have been nice if it was the same for everyone else. What is it about the holidays that make people grow horns and tails? Come on people... it's not even about the presents for me, I don't like spending the money. I just enjoy putting up my decorations and cooking and spending time with family. That's what it's about, isn't it? I guess not like that for everyone.

Which brings me to an incident today that made me quit my job for all of 5 minutes. This guy wanted fee refunds. Oh joy oh joy. Now here's my deal about fees- very rarely are they in bank error. I can honestly say that in my 5+ years in this industry I have seen one, maaaybe two instances where fees just popped up without reason. This, my friends, is truly bank error. But it NEVER happens. Don't get me wrong, I hate my job and can't wait to get out of this blood sucking industry. I'm one of the good guys, but even I can't deny that true bank error chances are slim to none. And this job has ruined me to the point where when someone sits down at my desk and starts with, "It's really a funny story, actually..." I know it will be anything but funny. It's probably going to be quite the opposite.

So anyway, this guy. We offer these handy-dandy online alerts that send you emails when your balance falls below a certain level, if a direct deposit posts, and so on and so forth. These are TOOLS, people! Not a "solve-everything-in-the-world" excuse for not balancing your checkbook. This guy swore he didn't get his alert email so the fees were in bank error. ?!?!?! Right. And I know there are plenty of well educated, reasonable people reading this that would probably agree with me that his point is balderdash. If his Internet was down and couldn't get to his email, he wouldn't get that one either. Would that be bank error? Umm... no. Let me be clear, I love technology, but it doesn't solve all problems. How many times have we sent emails that just never went? Be honest- it happens. But even then- these alerts won't go until after all the transactions have posted. Banking isn't real-time. I wish it was, that would be nice. My first questions for him as a banker? Do you keep a register? No. Do you check your account online? No. Do you ever call to check your balance over the phone? No. So this guy was using this tool and ONLY this tool to keep track of his accounts. I may be over-paranoid because of my job but this is not enough. Why do people so clearly ignore what's going on with their money? It's beyond me. This guy ultimately gets pissy with me and walks off. Riiiight. People just don't get it- fee refunds are like band aids. I have PLENTY of stuff I can give you to prevent this from happening again. Think long term! But noooo... people don't want prevention, they want band aids. Would you just run around like a damn fool and skin your knee 24/7 and keep slapping band aids on it? Nope, you'd stop running around like a damn fool. Same concept, and not a difficult one at that. Oh, and said guy insisted on telling me I know nothing before storming out of my office like a 2 year old. Um... ok?

Which brings me to another point- why do people annoy the individuals who handle their money? Let me be clear, I am not one of those employees who would actually mess with people's money out of retaliation. It's like spitting in people's food if you work in food service. I could never bring myself to do that, no matter how badly I wanted to. But still, it should be pretty basic common sense to treat these types of customer service representatives nicely. I guess it's not. Maybe this should be a class that's covered in schools. That, and basic banking. Maybe sex ed should wait a year or so and be replaced with these.

Me Vs. Turkey

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! This was quite an interesting day for me, considering I was cooking for 3 people and didn't have my mom to help me with the turkey.

No, this was not my first Thanksgiving to cook, but it was my first to cook a turkey all by me onesy. I was scared out of my mind. I'm not a bad cook by any means, I'm actually rather good, mostly because I'm not scared to try new recipes. Almost nothing intimidates me in cooking. Except turkeys. Those are my Achilles heel in the kitchen. I felt like I constantly called my mom, "breast up or breast down?" "how long do I cook this for?" "how do I know when it's done?" It actually turned out fabulous! My husband said it was the best he ever had, and in the off chance I'd thought he was lying, that suspicion would have been quickly squashed when I heard the noises he made while he was eating it. Almost left him for a minute alone with the turkey, sounded like he needed it.

In the past, I've always made Cornish hens in lieu of a turkey because I've never been feeding enough people to merit a turkey. Or so I said. I'll admit, I was just scared. This has certainly changed my outlook on holiday cooking.

We had another holiday cooking first today. I did NOT fillet any of the fingers on my left hand this time. That's good news, and a big improvement from cooking for previous holidays. St. Patty's, Thanksgiving, I'll always manage to mangle my hand in some way or another. That's a big improvement considering I used the knife that I've had the most disagreements with. Maybe it finally got tired of the taste of my blood. Either way, I'm glad I'm band aid free.

I did miss my family and the big Thanksgivings that we always had growing up, but I can honestly say that might not happen again. I don't see Thanksgiving as a holiday worth traveling for, not that I need a really good reason to see my family. I just don't see driving/flying to eat a big dinner, take a nap and then come home. With Christmas in such close proximity, I really just can't bring myself to travel for this rather fattening holiday. Which is fine, I don't have to hide behind the Cornish hens anymore. I'll just go with the turkey... I got this! ;-)

Press "1" If You Hate Your Job

I work for a rather large, very annoying multi-national corporation. That's all you need to know. And I really don't like my job. Let me be clear, I like my customers. Some get under my skin and misdirect their rather entertaining anger at me, but I need them, they provide my paycheck. The company itself is my problem.

Today's hardship? Phone calls. People that come to see me to solve their problems don't realize that I can do very little. My super-duper, solve-all-problems tool? My telephone. I have a LONG list, a Rolodex and a colorful collection of Post-It's ALL over my desk because these are my lifelines to solve my customer's problems. Which is fine, I really don't have a problem sitting on hold while I'm at work. What else do I have to do? Work? Psshh. My problem begins when I look at my handy dandy list of short cuts to get a hold of a specific department. After dialing 0, then 4 twice, then running around the building and then hopping on one foot, they just turn around and transfer me again. And then these department reps talk to me like I'm the crazy one for calling the wrong department. Umm, yeah. I have a list. It tells me where to go. It told me so, but apparently this widely distributed, highly in-demand list is wrong. I think my personal record for being transferring the most times is 10 or 11. Just to resolve one customer's issue.
And here's the scary part- I have shortcuts and resources because, DUH, I work here. Again, I have my LONG list, a Rolodex and a colorful collection of Post-It's ALL over my desk. How do customers handle it?? I guess they don't, this is probably why they come in to see me and have me jump through those hoops. I don't blame them, really. I'd do the same thing. It's not like they haven't tried. I had a customer who had taken notes on her hand from a conversation trying to resolve her own problem and ended up with an arm full of writing. I asked who she'd talked to in a certain department and what they'd said and she had to look at the outside of her elbow to answer it. Insane. But coincidentally, that was the high point of my week.

But yeah. That's a big part of my job. I've learned to live with it, but still... I will not miss it when I'm finished with school and leave this not-so-fine establishment.

Eenie Meenie Miney WTF?!

Oye vey. What with sleeping through my alarm this morning (it's another coffee day for me) and recovering from the drama this weekend, I'm drained. I usually spend my mornings surfing through Google news looking at random tidbits that toot my flute.

Justin Bieber is alll over it this morning. If I could throw Google news in the trash right now, I would. I hate this kid. Sure he can sing... until he hits puberty. He'll be like the one-hit wonder on crack, considering he's had maybe 3 or 4. He's overstayed his welcome bigtime. I don't consider the ability to croon repetitive, get stuck in your head songs like a 10 year old choir boy to be that noteworthy. I can't even get past the stupid haircut- looks like a helmet. Sure, he's not that bad at singing but the first time I heard him, I thought he was a girl. There is something wrong with this. Maybe it's appropriate then that he's coming out with women's perfume.

For anyone reading this thinking I'm just jealous, you're waaay off. Sure, he's got boo coos of money and is one of pop's favorite stars right now, but it's short lived. Young singers who are good never last that long. Why would I want 15 minutes of fame that lasts almost literally 15 minutes? Look at Billy Gilman. He was great when he first came out, but once he started getting older, he went poof. Not really a bad thing, that kid gave me the creeps. And from my observations, the faster you rise, the faster you fall. This Bieber character was quite literally an overnight star. Take Rihanna for example. She was almost the same way. Almost. She came out with some popular music, kids and adults liked it, but then she kinda coasted for a while. Her agents didn't shove her down our throats around every corner. Now she's Beyonce's only competition, in my opinion. That takes strategy. Now she's pumping out hits left and right and ya know what? She's good. Very good. Because here's another point about the music part of this. Rihanna's music was the kind that could be appreciated by all ages. Justin Bieber's music is really for teens and under only. Baby and Eeenie Meenie are NOT adult caliber songs. He'll be at that age in a few years where that is just the crowd he has to cater to. I don't think that will be an easy transition for him. Whoever is responsible for this needs to realize that when a singer ages, so do their fans, and they have to be able to grow with that. Sorry pedophiles, he won't be 12 forever. Another reason why my theory stands that he won't last long... how many adult white men are in R&B, Hip Hop and Rap? Eminem is the only name that comes to mind, maybe it's because I'm trying to think of names and they just aren't coming to me. The adult white male solo artists usually have something to them that makes them different. John Mayer plays the Fender Strat like nobody's business, Michael Buble gives us new age stuff with a classic sound and Rob Thomas used Matchbox 20 to get where he is before he went solo. Notice, none of these guys are in any of the previously mentioned genres. They are not easy to break into and even harder to stay in. Period.

And another aspect of this kid that I am just not buying... if he weren't famous, he'd be the joke of the day for everyone around him. NO ONE dresses like that every day in the real world. And he's not that good-looking either. It's amazing what a record deal and a couple of pop songs can do for a person. Then again, Owen Wilson is another excellent example of this. He'd be such a goober, and not the good kind, if he didn't have talent.

Enough Drama For 2010

OK so last night sucked. It was fun, up until a certain point. It was intense.
I went out with a good friend from work, another friend who is an old Army buddy of my husband's, my bestie and his boyfriend. And a douchebag. He decided he likes my friend who is the old Army buddy, we'll call her "Lollapalooza." She wants to just be friends, which she'd made perfectly clear. He comes out with us anyway and is one cocky mother fudger the whole night. Interrupting people and talking like he knows everything. Some of the most annoying traits possible. We made it the nights mission to get rid of him, whether it be lose him on the road or leave and go somewhere else without telling him. So Lollapalooza has one too many and my friend from work pairs up with me to try to get her to not drive. After about 30-45 minutes of struggling with her, we give up. I have a strong belief that adults should be in control of themselves and we all live with our choices. So this guy starts calling me a shitty friend, because I'm not forcing her. I told him I am not her mother and have no control over her, and that I tried but I can only do so much. His response? This apparently means that I don't care. I tell him that I do care and he doesn't know me so he should shut up the you-know-what up or get the you-know-what out, that he wasn't wanted there in the first place. Hey, I'm an honest person. He walks away. Point taken. Or so I thought...

Douchebag comes back and sits on the bench at the opposite end of me. I walk over and tell him as nicely but firmly as I could, "Did you misunderstand? You're no longer welcome in this group. I can't make you leave but you need to leave us alone." Something to that effect, there was probably more profanity than that. I do vividly recall being careful with my choice of words. Oh, and I left out the part about him taking advantage of Lollapalooza while she's at the peak of inebriation. Big no-no in my book. His response... "I can buy and sell you and your whole stupid family, you fat ass whore." Ummm... excuse me? Now let's pause the story for a second- what does having money have to do with this?? Alright, you've got money... random, but ok. Good for you, do you want a scooby snack? None of us that were there could wrap our heads around this, during or after. But anywho... he called me a bad name. One I don't take to hearing very well. I slapped him. Yeah, I'd been dealing with him for about 6 hours at this point against my will, so it was overdue. My bestie and his boyfriend pop up just in time to hold me back. I'm not able to do anything to him at this point, but for some reason he decides to take it a step further anyway. He hits me in the throat. Yeah... for those of you who haven't noticed, I am a girl. I can take a hit, but I shouldn't have to. Hitting this guy was a first for me, and I did go through my options in my head. He deserved it. Period. The security guards get involved and after some serious he-said, she-said, he is escorted out. I wish I could say the story stops here.

We leave about 30 minutes later and when I get to my car, I get the urge to check it. Good thing I did. The bastard had keyed my trunk. I love my car, you don't mess with the Cap'n. How do I know it was him? I put my purse in my trunk when I go out, this night was no exception. It wasn't there earlier and it'd be a huge coincidence if the one night I have a major altercation, my car gets keyed by some random stranger. He also knew what kind of car I drove because everyone had followed me there and we all parked in a row. Not a hard thing to figure out. I filed a police report, which I am well aware, is a dead end. But I did in anyway, and the physical assault part of it is in there. Again, dead end. But I felt better.

Here's where the funny shit started happening. While I'm on hold with the PD about my report, my work friend is standing next to me. She left her keys in the car and the door open. We see this guy walk over to her car, get in and shut the door. Not believing what we're seeing, we run over and open the door. Leave it to me, while I'm feeling mouthy, to tell him to get the you-know-what out of the car. He looks at me and throws his hands up like I'm crazy. He has her phone in his hand, just making his drunk ass at home. Oh. My. God. After my apparently-necessary explanation that this car was not his, he gets out, walks about 40 feet away, turns around, and starts yelling at me calling me a bitch. I was super popular last night, that's for sure.

A few things I want to make note of. First, should I have slapped this guy? Most probably not. It wasn't a good decision, I'll admit that. Did he deserve it? Absolutely. Men need to learn that you don't talk to women that way, no matter how much of a bitch she is. I'm good at that, I know this about myself. But  again, I won't whip out that part of my personality if it isn't deserved. Second, was I right about backing off of my friend to let her drive drunk? We've all been in this position and I can't say I was right, but I can honestly say that I did what I could. I loves me some Lollapalooza, but she's one tough girl and I wasn't about to get into a wrestling fight with her for her keys. She'd have won. She was in the Army, for Christ's sake! She was trained to beat me, and why fight a losing battle? We've learned for next time. I have enough people close to me who have had DUI's to know that you cannot force an adult to do anything. It is their choice. After over a half an hour of trying to reason with an intoxicated friend, anyone would give up. I did the very best I could with what I had. Anyone who criticizes my choices for how I handled this evening needs to ask themselves... would you have been able to do any differently?

COFFFEEEEE!!!!!

OK so I NEVER drink coffee, and guess what I brought with me to work today?? COFFEE!! So be prepared for a super wired, jacked up post.

I like talking about my pet peeves, because it's fun. It's human nature to enjoy hating things from time to time. Let's talk about one I dealt with a lot today- people talking to me when I'm on the phone. No, I don't just sit at my desk on my cell phone and get pissed when customers come in and expect me to work. More times than I'd like to think about, when someone comes in with a problem, I have to call some other department to get it fixed. And people seem to think that I can listen to two people at once because I have two ears. It's even worse when I have to repeatedly remind these people that "I have difficulty with two conversations because I tend to mix it up and I don't want you to have to repeat yourself." Which is just my nice way of saying STFU. Some people just keeeeep on doing it. I don't like to be rude, but this crap makes it reeeeally hard not to be.

What makes this so much more annoying is call centers. People assume by coming in, I have this magical number that gets me to a person. The answer to that is no, I do not. I have to go through the same options as everyone else. Now I am better at our call centers than our customers because I use them more often. But I still get frustrated, I still get transferred, and I still have to press "1" for English. And these people get mad at me when all I do is call and tell them they are good to go. Because they came in just so I could make a phone call, "I could have done that from home." Of course you could have, silly goose. But you came here on your own accord, no one made you. Especially not me. I would rather you stay home. Please. I enjoy my sitting-on-my-butt time.

That's it for today. And I just reread this and GEEZ, I am HIIIIGH string today! Oh well... it's Friday.

Happy, Sappy News

What with Eva Longoria's divorce, the shooting the TV thing on Dancing With the Stars (something about Bristol Palin?) and Lindsay Lohan's mission for attention, let's talk about happy things in the news today!

Pink is preggers!! I didn't see that one coming either, but I'm not sure why. She's happily married and keeps outdoing herself! I LOVE Pink, she's badass. Literally, this is one woman I'd be scared to piss off. She's got an amazing voice and is a fabulous entertainer. And no, she isn't filtered. I know this because I saw her in concert waaaaay back when she was opening for N*Sync. This was not one of those touring together openers, it was more like a "2 or 3 songs and then booted off the stage" kinda opener. She wasn't special enough back then to waste money on for live filtering. Even so, she was a great performer back then too. Kind of a funky Inspector Gadget theme, but that was cool back then. I was 11, STFU.

Another piece of news that makes me all warm and tingly- Ryan Reynolds was named Sexiest Man Alive by People magazine. It's ABOUT DAMN TIME!! That man is so gorgeous... cue the ending of Wolverine: Origins. Need I say more? In all actuality, that actor wasn't him but I don't care. It was him in my head and I fail to see the difference. Back to my point: I find this well-deserved title pretty ironic because his wife was named Sexiest Woman of the Year a while back, only to be retracted later when a poll was actually done and a shocking majority of men said "um, no!" I don't hear anyone fighting Ryan Reynolds' glory now, must make her feel like ass. She should, she's not exactly sex on a stick.

And congrats are in order for Prince Willy and Miss Kate! How exciting, they have been inching towards a marriage for what, 3 years now? I thought they were already engaged but umm... I lied? He gave her his mama's engagement ring, and for anyone reading this after being in a coma for 15 years, Princess Di died in 1997. This Kate Middleton character is probably scared out of her booties wearing this ring. It's this pretty big ol' honkin' oval sapphire surrounded by diamonds and apparently it's the center of the universe in the UK. Can you blame them? Most of the world hasn't gotten over her death yet. And this huge piece of history is on one person's finger... talk about pressure. I'd put that sucker in a vault surrounded by a mote with sharks with freakin' laser beams on their heads. I can't even keep my own shit in order, much less this treasured artifact once worn by one of the world's favorite people. More power to Kate if she can manage to not drop it down the sink. I'd love to see that conversation- "Umm.... honnney?? Can you swim across the Atlantic and then call me so I can tell you something?"

I occasionally have to look up happy news to perk myself up, on days much like today. Not that it brings me joy to see others having a grand ol' time, but because I take pleasure in fast forwarding to the future and the negative news I'll read on these same topics. I'm such a negative nelly. :-)

iPoop

I'm a big time Apple fan. I've got an iPod, an iTouch, a Macbook and an iMac, which is just a fancy, cryptic way of saying "desktop." When Verizon FINALLY gets the iPhone, as they've been promising for years that they will, I'll have one of those. If it's made by Apple, chances are I'll definitely consider buying it. I don't even like buying Apple products from a non-official store. But even my undying faith to this company can't convince me to buy one of these new idiotic contraptions called an "iPad."

I have several reasons for not wanting this not-miniature-enough-to-throw-in-my-purse, portable touch screens. In the rare instances that my iTouch isn't enough, there are few places that I cannot take my Macbook to do the job. There's almost nothing that this thing can do that a laptop or and iWhatever can't do. What was the initial "We need something that can do this!" thought that spurred the invention of this... thing?

My biggest pet peeve about the iPad is that it gives my customers one more thing to do at my desk to ignore me. I have a hard enough time keeping people focused with cell phones, this has just made my job SOOO much easier. I had to ask someone a question 3 times today... 3 times!!! All because he was typing away at his iStupidthing.

This has created a whole new breed of technology junkies. Laptop people and iPad people are NOT the same. Like milk and creamer... looks the same but not the same, not even close. I'll give you an example. Laptop people do not complain when a business doesn't have WiFi. They know where to go for it. Panera, Starbucks, the library. These people are resourceful. iPad users, on the other hand... Oye. They come to the bank and get mad at ME personally because we don't have WiFi. Um, here's a good question- why would you expect us to? Do you see people just chillin' in the lobby with their fancy coffee? Nope. We are a bank. We give you a safe place to keep your money. We already have enough people who make themselves at home at least 2 or 3 days a week, like we need any more motivation for idiots to just hang out here. Get real. I have seen one instance where an iPad was potentially helpful, the lady had some major identity theft and was taking notes on the notepad app of all the hoops she'd have to jump through to get it fixed. The notes were was illegible and she kept messing up and having to delete it and start over. Witnessing this obvious struggle, I just passed her a Post-It pad and smiled. I love being a smart ass, it's a happy life.

Jessica Simpson and Who????

Just read on Google news that Jessica Simpson just got engaged to some bloke named Eric Johnson. The only description of him is that he's an "ex-football player." Doesn't say he was NFL or anything. Hmm... I have no idea who this guy is. I find it strangely suspicious that this is oh-so-closely following her ex-husband Nick Lachey's recent engagement. Supposedly she said just last month that this Eric character is "just a friend." It's almost like she heard about Nick's upcoming nuptials and scrambled for someone to marry so she could be engaged too. How dare he get remarried before her, what nerve. Ugh. She could have just made another reality show for it, Who Wants to Be a Newlywed? It would have certainly turned some spotlights (albeit, negative ones) in her direction for the first time in years. I looked at the grand total of 6 pictures of Jessica and Eric together and they do NOT look like they are in love. I'll give them this, they do look like a couple, but not one about to walk down the aisle by any means. I hate keeping up with celebrity relationships. I can never tell how much of it is publicity and how much are real relationships. Some are just too perfect or crazy or convenient to be anything but fake.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are an excellent example of this. I don't know how much more I can say about these two that hasn't already been said. He's batshit crazy. She doesn't appear to be that happy, nowhere near the state of ecstasy she was in when they first met. Welcome to the real world, toots. He's become a quite outspoken yutz and I have a theory that he's struggling with the fact that he's not the hot young stud he was a million years ago. Most people can agree that we can watch Top Gun and War of the Worlds back to back and see a HUGE difference, like it's a completely different actor. I think that Katie just married him to live out the dream most girls born in the 70's and 80's had- grow up and marry Tom Cruise. Childhood infatuations should stay in the past, because this has obviously not panned out the way she'd thought it would. Duh. I wanted to grow up and be a unicorn, and needless to say, my goals have changed a bit since then.

And a more recent marriage that has my mind in a tizzy is Russell Brand and Katy Perry. Honestly, a cute couple and they are both a little kooky so it could work but this relationship has me singing "D-I-V-O-R-C-E" in my head anyway. They didn't seem to be together that long before the engagement and these two strike me as nothing if not impulsive. They clearly love attention, so what could be better than getting it by marrying an equally flamboyant counterpart? The really good thing they have going for them is that so far, they've kept things pretty private. Spotlights and marriages don't like each other, it's been proven. They mixed spotlights and wedding rings together in little test tubes and surprise, they blew up.

I really do feel for celebrities, because going back to my views on the show Teen Mom, it's hard to have a healthy relationship with everyone watching. Not only are you being pulled in 10 different directions with fans, promotional events, award shows and actually working, the few seconds you're given alone each day are usually spent wiping your ass. Marriage is tough enough in the normal, average world us ordinary paupers live in. Add boo coos of money, personal assistants, millions of adoring fans and agents telling you what to do and where to be and it'd be a straight up nightmare.

Remind Me Again Why Advertising is Hard??

There are some pretty dumb commercials airing right now, as usual. Ones that make me wonder why advertising is such a glorified industry. I mean, generate interest in the product, that's it. You're done. It seems like they are going for memorable above anything else, but that's not necessarily a good thing. I remember plenty of stupid shit I've seen over the years, doesn't mean I'm going to do it simply off the basis of remembering it.

We'll start with one that's been around a while. The Kia Soul commercials. Ugh. When did hamsters become good spokespeople? The first one with them kinda made sense, hamsters running in their wheels all over the place and then some driving by in a Kia Soul, symbolizing the rest of us just driving and not enjoying and appreciating the full experience of vehicle. Blah blah blah. But the new one with the hamsters wearing clothes pointing at cars and toasters to rap music. WTF?? I can't really go much further than that. It's dumb. Memorable and dumb. I am no more enticed to buy this car than I was before. Kia- you wasted a lot of money on this commercial. Someone needs to be fired.

The McRib commercial is another one. It really doesn't seem that bad at first, but after 10 times, it seems a little... off. They had to go and ruin a great Matt White song because now there's 25 seconds I want to skip through every time I listen to it now. People being in LOVE with a sandwich?? Umm... no. I like food as much as the next person, but I'm not about to start singing sappy ballads about it. It makes me think these people are kinda crazy, not that they are about to bite into a delicious sandwich. Makes no sense. These advertising executives need to add a new step to the process- sleep on it. It might not sound like such good marketing after all.

And the State Farm commercials! Those guys singing the song and their agent magically pops up and fixes everything. Any logical person in their right mind knows that this is impossible. So why advertise it like that. It's like saying "weelllll we KNOW it doesn't really work like this, but it's LIKE that." I don't want "like that," I want that to give me enough reason to go through the hassle of switching insurance companies. If it's not like that, it's not worth the effort. The guys they hired to do these commercials are pretty annoying. Not good salespeople.

I did see one commercial tonight that I have to say was the most effective one I've seen in a while. There's a polar bear in his natural habitat but then you see him traveling across the U.S. and he goes up to this guy getting in his car and gives him a hug. It's advertising an electric car by Nissan. I LOVED it! Tugs on your heartstrings, and you stay hooked because you wonder why this polar bear is making this pretty pointless journey out of his environment. I actually looked up the car after the commercial. It's a pretty hideous vehicle, to be honest, but my interest was piqued enough to go to the website. I'd say that's the sole point of commercials- generating interest. They got mine.

When Did Minutes Become Hours?

I just saw a commercial for this new contraption for doing laundry called the "Bounce Bar." It's a bar that sticks to the inside of your dryer so you don't have to use a dryer sheet every time. It lasts about four months. And the commercials portray these busy moms talking about how it's "one less thing to do" and "saves them so much time." Blah... blah... BLAH! This just screams that America wasn't lazy enough what with all the fat men looking for their remote before taking 3 steps to the TV and the use of calculators for basic addition problems. Someone had to go and think this one up. Sure, it's convenient but when I take the time to ponder how busy I am and think about ways to help, the two seconds it takes to grab a dryer sheet out of the box doesn't come to mind as something to be cut out. If those take too long, then we should just omit Kleenex and just blow our noses into the air. They work exactly the same as the dryer sheets! That'd be pretty convenient. Boogers all over the place, but convenient.

Technology is great but it's just created an epidemic of laziness. Things are never fast enough, never convenient enough. It can always be better, but you can only update things so much before it gets redundant. I refuse to buy one of those newfangled 3D TVs because the day after I buy one, they'll introduce boxes you set on the floor that project the 3D images all over the room.

I work at a bank, one that has these handy dandy ATMs that accept deposits without envelopes. They just read the checks and count the cash. Very cool concept. But people LOVE to complain about them anyway. We just had a system problem where ours was running pretty slow, not snail or turtle slow... just slowER. We never heard the end of it, at least until it was fixed. And my all time favorite ATM complaint... some of these ATMs we have in town will let you feed multiple checks in at the same time and it will read them all at once. Ours feeds them one at a time, but this girl comes in one day, makes it a point to see my boss to tell him that we need to put in one of the ATMs that takes multiple checks in one feed. Give. Me. A. Break. Is two more minutes at the machine, if that, really going to kill you? No. These other ATMs are drive through ones, so it makes sense to cut as much time out as possible to save on idling cars pumping more pollution into the air. At ours, you have to park in the garage and come inside to use it. You already had enough time to come in, so stop bitching.

I could really go on for days on these habits of laziness we've let ourselves fall into. In my opinion, technology was at it's finest back in the mid 20th century. Identity theft was almost unheard of, there were enough conveniences to make everyday life easier but not too easy and people had real conversations because the Internet wasn't an option to expedite things. People enjoyed speedy things but it didn't make them all pissy when they didn't get it. It just blows my mind about the things people get irritated about now. If I wait in a drive through for ten minutes, I don't let myself get upset about the wait. As long as the customer service is good and they don't ruin my order, I don't care. Life is either enjoyable or not, and I have a hard time believing that it's all centered around the few precious minutes that we spent waiting to get something accomplished.

My Knoxville Favorites

I'm feeling random today and on top of that, I'm having some major writer's block so I'm going to talk about my favorite places in Knoxville. Restaurants, night life, businesses, you name it.

1. My ALL TIME favorite place in Knoxville, my mecca is Lox Salon. Not just because the owner is one of my dearest friends in the whole wide world, but because they're good. Damn good. This was my salon first and foremost, the friendship just added a perk to it. The owner, Brynn, is this ultra trendy, social gal who knows her stuff. My biggest criteria about finding a stylist- it's about what the customer wants, not just what the stylist thinks looks good. She, and all her girls, for that matter, are fearless with color and know how to work a pair of scissors! Lox also sells some pretty cool jewelry and knickknacks by local artisans and hosts lost of social events. The first Friday of every month, aptly called "First Friday," Lox opens their doors to a local artist and lets them showcase their work. There's also clothing swaps, game nights, you name it! Not to mention the Saturday mimosas and PBRs! Mmm... I know where I'll be tomorrow. She's moving as of Dec. 1, so give her a call and make your appointment before the moving shenanigans start! 865-523-5569
2. Abuelo's... talk about some GOOD Mexican food. It's a chain, so I'm rather surprised at the fact that their food is so good. Next time you're in, ask for some infierno for your salsa. It's delicious and extra spicy! The ambiance is awesome, the music is (usually) pretty good. The servers are so nice and ultra-professional and the servings are HUGE!! Enough for a midnight snack and lunch the next day! It's almost gourmet Mexican food, and the prices are pretty reasonable. Not much more expensive than a visit to Chili's or Ruby Tuesday's. Ask for Salinas, she'll take good care of you! They're in Turkey Creek, across from the Pinnacle 18. You know where I'm going with that... dinner and a movie! And my ultimate favorite part about Abuelo's? A pitcher of Sangria Swirl... it's frozen Sangria and Margarita swirled together. I always make a mess pouring them into my glass but it's so worth it. Almost worth licking off the table...
3. MORE Mexican food! Soccer Taco in Market Square. There are other location, but I'm talking ONLY about the one in Market Square. Because there are two things that one has that the others don't. The first is Market Square (duh... LOTS of shoppping and fun stuff to do!) and the second is Chris. He's amazing, ask for him, tell him Mer sent you. He works Tuesdays and Thursdays and it's so worth going to work with a hangover the next morning after the bomb Margaritas. Write it down.
4. One word- Nostalgia. OK technically it's Nostalgia Market, but whatever. They are this AWESOME antique store that sells the coolest vintage stuff! I actually haven't had the chance to go, but my husband has and he can't say enough about it. Oh you have a thing about owls, do you? They have a corner called "Hooterville." Nothing but owl stuff! Their address is 5214 Homberg Dr. Plug that into your GPS and go now!!
5. Southbound in the Old City is my all time favorite place for a night out. They have 3 floors, the first is the biggest, with two bars and some pool tables in the back. They have TVs with music videos and play everything from 80's classics to current stuff. The second plays mostly hip hop from what I've noticed but it really depends on the DJ. It's also got some cool, lounge-ish couches and high top tables. The top floor is pretty well balanced as far as music goes but has these big ol' booth tables and a balcony. The only downer, not all the floors are open all the time. Fridays and Saturdays are the best times to go.
6. Speaking of the Old City, Urban Bar isn't a bad hangout either. They've got tables and chairs outside, a front room with plenty of tables, a couple of pool rooms, arcade games and a juke box. I've had many a good time getting wasted there. The bartenders are FABULOUS, I haven't been in forever but if Ashley and Nate are still there, you know it'll be a good night. I don't have as much time to go out as I used to but next time I go out, I'll have to pay them a visit.

Yup... so those are my favorites. This was probably my most boring post ever but if anyone got anything out of it then it's worth it. It's a Friday, I'm bored and slightly irritated. This is what you get today.

Welcome to Initech

I would love to sit down and calculate how much of my life I've lost with using and hearing filler words and expressions. I work with a lady who has an impressive ability to occupy about 75% of her dialogues with filler statements. It's pretty annoying, actually. "And all" is a complete thought with this woman. That's it... and all! And I can't believe how much that fact alone has made me hate her with a PASSION! I've almost made it part of my job description to loathe her with every fiber of my being. She works behind our teller line and at least a few times a day, I have to wait to see a teller. And as if waiting in that line for 10 minutes for a thirty second transaction isn't bad enough, I get to the front of the line and this woman looks straight at me and greets me with "Like that and stuff." ?!?!?!?!?!?! I know, it didn't make any sense to me either. I don't doubt that she's a nice lady underneath it all, but I can't seem to get past the fact that she has a "filler quota" to hit every day to get to know this nice person. That, and the fact that she's as absent minded as a toothpick. Now mind you, I didn't say she LOOKS like a toothpick... just that she has the brains of one. One of my closest friends used to work rather closely with her and she had a sudden attack of the conscience one day and decided to be nice to her and see what happens. She learned her lesson pretty quick. You just can't get past the annoyances to get to know that person. Maybe she likes it that way and this entire thing has been one big scheme to get people to leave her the &%$* alone! And OhEmGee! She's in a supervisory position, and that's another fact of the day that I can never seem to come close to wrapping my head around. People have to go to this woman for instructions. I feel so sorry for them, because I can't imagine having to pick the actual assignment out of the "and alls" and "stuff like thats." I'd kill someone. She's like Nina from Office Space... I only know her name because you hear her answer the phones like a bajillion times throughout the movie.

"ThankyouforcallingaccountspayableNinaspeaking...JUST a moment!" At first, it's mildly entertaining but by the end of the movie, you want to take that damn phone and shove it down her throat. Yeah, that's my day. Only worse. And I really do have one of those "I have 8 bosses, so when I do something wrong I have to hear about it 8 times" kinda jobs. We have email... we have phones... we have a very large, very open room with excellent acoustics. It's beyond me how these people haven't quite grasped communicating with each other. Thank god we don't use memos. I'd have myself a nice little bonfire.

Another Injustice for Tyler

I'm probably getting this information a little bit late, my apologies. I just read an article that Dharun Ravi and Molly Wei have been charged with the "slap on the wrist" of invasion of privacy. Right. For those of you who have been living under a rock for the past 2 months, these are the two insensitive pricks who broadcasted video of Tyler Clementi enjoying the company of another man in the privacy of his dorm room. Wow, apparently America has settled for the most minimum level of punishment and called it "justice." I am disgusted by this. I'm at a point where I would LOVE to see what would happen if this were done to a straight person and it drove them to suicide. Because you know it would never be dropped until the highest level of discipline was exercised. Poor Tyler made headlines for a while but everyone seemed to forget about it pretty quickly. Yet we allow ourselves to stare at our TVs for hours watching our president pick a dog. Other countries may have said it right- Stupid Americans!

What really amazes me is that Dharun Ravi is no stranger to minorities. Ravi, being only 18, may be a bit young for this but since 9/11, if you just look middle eastern, people jump too quickly and think you're a terrorist. Which is narrow minded. It's okay to hate terrorists in general, but not an entire nationality or religious group. I guess he never had to deal with that, lucky for him.

Having been a victim of bullying myself, I know it sucks. I even attempted to end my life several times because of it. And the bullies seem to never think twice about it. Out of morbid curiosity, I've looked up some of these self absorbed assholes on Facebook to see where they are now. I'm glad I failed at those attempts because these losers aren't worth my life and they haven't made enough of theirs for me to still be intimidated by them. I can say that now, because hindsight is 20/20. Poor Tyler won't ever have that. If the justice system won't do it's job, hopefully karma will.

Let's Talk About Cheating

OOO I love hot, controversial topics! Because there are so many obvious factors that people just don't bother to touch on. I think the majority of America has been in a cheating situation in one way or another, whether they've been cheated on, done the cheating, watched a parent cheat, been there for a bestie who's been cheated on, etc. etc. I'd like to think that the majority of the population knows and feels that cheating is wrong, but if that were the case, then why do 50% of women and 60% of men still do it? This just doesn't make sense to me. And then there are the schmucks who take them back. Yup, I said it. Schmucks. I've been one of these schmucks on more than one occasion so I can say that.

Sienna Miller is one of America's Crown Schmucks right now. She hasn't "confirmed" a reconciliation with Jude Law, but she's certainly allowing him to come close enough without clawing his eyeballs out. Especially after being publicly humiliated and made to look like a fool, you'd think that urge would never go away. At least for me, it wouldn't. I'm amazing at holding grudges, it's impressive how easily I can scrub people from my life. I felt so sorry for this girl and was actually pretty proud of her leaving his cheating ass the first time. He's pretty, I'm sure that wasn't an easy choice. If he does it again, I'll be damned if I give her a second thought of pity. This is part of why Sandra Bullock is my idol! Jesse cheated on her and she'd have NONE of it! As we say in Texas, (and we all know she's an implanted Texan! Yeehaw!) Adios, amigo! Sandy is HILARIOUS but she strikes me as the type of woman you just don't cross. I really wonder how the conversation went when she approached him with this bit of "news." Oh Em Gee... Fly. Wall. Pay lots of money.

Which brings me to my oh-so-popular, everyone-wants-to-know (insert sarcastic laughter here) opinion on cheating. I made the decisions to go back to these men after the fact because I felt in my heart that it was the right thing to do. There were a lot of factors that went into it for me, like how long we'd been together, if behaviors had been building up to it, blah blah blah. If they had done it again, the person I'd have had to hate for it would be me. My mama raised me right- fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. Bottom line- take a cheater back, accept the risk. If you get hurt again, it's your bad. I love love LOVE that line from Pay it Forward where Helen Hunt hides in her son's room after realizing her ex-husband is still an abusive prick. "I think I made a mistake!" with very obvious OOPS undertones! Not cheating by any means, but a very similar sensitive subject. We'll go there another day. She very clearly took responsibility for her choice and didn't look for sympathy from anyone. Take notes, people. Detailed ones. If you're gonna give bad behavior a second chance, do everyone a favor and learn to be strong enough to stand on your own two feet and make the tough decision when it happens again.

16 and Stupid

Let's talk about teen pregnancy. More specifically, MTV's attempt at glamorizing it. This is a subject that is very near and dear to my heart because I was a teen mom once upon a time. It's not an easy journey and no choice is easy. I go through so many mixed emotions watching this show and it's pretty exhausting. Cry, get angry, cry, get angry, laugh, get shocked, cry again. Oye vey. Macy and Caitlin make me proud, Farrah makes me want to throw things at the TV and Amber makes me speechless. Yeah, let's talk about Amber. And the Class D felony charge she's facing after slapping and punching her on-again, off-again boyfriend. This has to be the stupidest thing I've ever seen. Gary is one big mofo, I highly doubt she could hurt him with her bare hands. He just takes it like a champ! And look at that face! Ugh, don't you just want to slap it off of her?!? Good job, Gary, for resisting that urge because I sure as hell couldn't.

God this girl needs to grow up. Granted, this is a show produced by MTV, so you never know what they could just be throwing out there for ratings. As of right now, law enforcement has subpoenaed MTV for the unedited tapes of this show so they can decide if they are going to charge her. I'm wondering what kind of publicity this is going to bring the show, and I'm sorta hoping it gets pulled. Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant makes teenage pregnancy look all fine and dandy but from someone who's been there before, I can tell you, it's not.

Another aspect of this show is the fact that the fame has most likely damaged the small chance these girls had to be good moms. I've known plenty of girls who got pregnant young, kept and raised their babies on their own and it's been a struggle but they (and their children) have survived! Look what has happened so far with these poor girls- Amber has struggled with prescription abuse and done lost her marbles by turning into a Class A bitch. Farrah's mom beat her ass, although I'm not so sure I could blame her for that one. I'd have a hard time resisting that one too. Would these events have taken place if these kids weren't under the public eye, followed by camera 90% of their day? No one knows but I choose to believe that the lives of all parties involved would have been SO much better if they had lived this very sensitive, very intimate part of their lives off camera.

Miley Cyrus Should Be Eaten by Zombies

I keep waiting for Ashton Kutcher to jump out and say America has been Punk'd with this kid. She has been the subject of mass confusion ever since she made her first appearance as Hannah Montana. Awful show. For the life of me, I can't wrap my head around why she's even famous. She can't use her dad as a reason for fame, he's a washed up country has-been who was famous for about 10 minutes that one time. With a song called Achy Breaky Heart as the only well known hit to your credit, you've got to accept that it's over. She really can't sing, once you take away the filters. She can't act, unless you call dramatically flailing around on a Disney TV set "acting." And she's honestly not that pretty, for what you would expect in Hollywood. So here's my question- WHY hasn't the rest of America realized this yet.

And then THIS horrible mess of nonsense comes out. The words "dirty pirate hooker" come to mind.



Now here's the thing about this song. It's actually kinda catchy. Not a horrible song, but not what I would expect of a teenager. Can't be tamed, eh? Not exactly a status to be proud of. Know who else can't be "tamed?" Criminals. Prostitutes. Sluts. Feral children. Yep, you're in good company, Miley. She should have kept her birth name, "Destiny," she would have fit right in when she hits her all time high of working the pole. Oh wait, she's already done that.

My bottom line, Miley needs to decide who she wants to entertain. Adults or children. I am so shocked that Disney hasn't cut her show yet. As a person with children in the house, I have a big problem with her prancing around entertaining kids by day and then strapping on the hooker boots and garter belt by night. If my 5 year old step daughter were to see her in this video, she'd be so confused. And you know what, she'd probably like it. Because Hannah Montana does it! So it's gotta be cool, right? Wrong. My only solution for keeping these teenage TV show girls from making my parenting job harder is just to not allow her to watch it. The last thing I need is a 5 year old thinking she should dress like a streetwalker. Bust out the chastity belt and bars on the windows.

On a final note, this video does crack me up because those feather glove things she wears on her hands are pretty goofy looking. How could anyone think those are sexy? Glad that someone in the wardrobe department has a sense of humor.

Tellin' Ghost Stories

I know we're in November now and the time for creepy stuff and scary stories has come and gone, but screw it, I'm gonna go there anyway.

I saw Paranormal Activity 2 a few weekends ago and would like to share my thoughts on this low budget, over exaggerated movie. To be clear, I liked it. It scared me, but I'm a very jumpy person and sudden loud noises and unexpected events make me just about wee myself. But I enjoy that, for some reason. They did an amazing job in that aspect. But here's my BIGGEST problem with this movie (and the first one, for that matter). The title is WAY off. The word "paranormal" is defined as anything supernatural that occurs without a scientific explanation. Yes, technically demonic activity is paranormal, I suppose. The connotative definition that is generally accepted is that it pertains to ghosts. GHOSTS! Not demons. But that's just what America needs. Another exorcism movie. Oh boy oh boy. But with this new ghost hunting craze, that's what they had to call it to suck in viewers. Maybe it was their way of taking it a step further. I've done a bit of ghost hunting myself, before everyone else was doing it because it was cool. It was pretty dorky back then, actually.

Which brings me to another point- these ghost hunting shows have got to start doing it right or hit the road. I watched the oh-so-originally titled Ghost Hunters for several disappointing months and came to two conclusions. It's either fake or they need to fire their entire camera crew. If something is happening, point the camera at the spot where said incident is taking place, not at the host. Seriously, all of these shows do this. Which I find odd because when I witness something creepy, the first thing I do is grab my stinking camera! I'll be damned if I'd stare at one of my friends and be amazed with the situation by living vicariously through their facial expressions. No thanks, I'd rather see it for myself. Granted, in my experiences, when something actually does happen, it's rarely monumental. There's usually still boo coos of doubt and reasonable explanations surrounding it. The excitement for me comes from the possibility that it may have been paranormal. That and the fact that I'm staying in a creepy, haunted house. WAY better than a hotel. To share one of my potentially paranormal stories, during my stay at Waverly Hills Sanatorium this past spring, we set a flashlight on the table in the old shock therapy room. We were asking a... um... thing to turn it off and on and it was, in fact, turning off and on without any assistance. I've got it on camera, granted it was dark and you really can't see that no one was touching it but take my word for it, it was happening. I was a skeptic then and I still am. There could have been a logical, non-paranormal reason for it happening, but damn skippy, I grabbed my camera and got it on film. Shoot me a comment if you'd like to see it, it's pretty nifty.

Back to the movie, it's definitely worth seeing if you're okay with the fact that it is, in fact, just another movie about possession. If you're not willing to spend the money to see it, wait until it comes out on DVD, let one of your more easily entertained friends buy it and borrow it. I'm likely to be one of those easily entertained friends, FYI.

Facebook: A Love/Hate Relationship

I think we can all agree that Facebook is one of the best things since sliced bread. It's also one of the most irritating systems ever thought up. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being able to keep in touch with old friends, post pictures to share with my family, snoop on the self-absorbed, overweight ninnies I went to high school with. Hours of fun-filled entertainment! But there should be a handbook for Facebook etiquette because people just don't quite have a grasp on how to use it. I've taken the liberty of jotting down a few of my own rules:

1. Avoid "This is about YOU, but I'm not going to use your name" status updates. Big, big, BIG annoyance. You know it's about them, they know it's about them, everyone else knows it's about them. Better idea? Post it on THEIR wall, or better yet, sent them a private message. Problem solved.
2. Avoid status updates that are just notes to a specific person. Perfect example- "Happy Birthday, Love Muffin Scrumptiousdoodles!" Again, this is what walls are for. They don't have a Facebook? Then why post it to begin with?!?! They'll never read it unless YOU show them! Don't expect others to call that person and be like "Dude, Meg said 'Happy Birthday' on Facebook... FYI." It never happens.
3. I don't care if Facebook says the age limit is 13... it's 18. If you're still in high school, use MySpace. Please. No one wants your petty crap on their wall. (Then again, I'm convinced this is why the "hide" button was born.) You can't have fancy, personalized backgrounds. You can't pick music to start when your page loads. Guess what? Facebook was initially designed for young adults. Not children. I don't care if mom and dad gave you permission, come back in 5 years.
4. Punctuation, Spelling and Grammar- STILL a staple in the English language. I get SO SICK of the "OMG! BFF & BF hooked ^, IDC NEmore!!!" Umm... ENGLISH!?!?! Stop showing off your ability to create acronyms from already short phrases. It's not exactly a coveted talent.
5. Stop starting DRAMA!!! Seriously, Facebook is NOT a virtual battleground. You know what you're saying when you say it so don't act like it was an accident. You're starting crap, you know it, delete it, apologize, move on. Facebook is NOT a substitution for real, human conversation.
6. Think before you post! People need to understand that when something is written, it looses 90% of the conversational effects it would have had if you'd said it in person. Facial expression, tone and sarcasm are some of the biggest. If you post something that someone takes wrong, APOLOGIZE. These are basic principles that have been around since before the Internet. Because you know what happens if you don't say you're sorry and drop it? DRAMA!! Already started drama? Refer to rule No. 5.
7. Don't complain about other people's posts if you simply disagree. Offensive posts are one thing. But simply disagreeing? Um, no. Welcome to the human race. You aren't going to agree with everyone and they certainly aren't going to agree with you. Let it GOOO!!!! Guess what? If you don't agree, you don't have to read it! It's shouldn't be any one's personal mission to "referee" Facebook. Too much work to not get paid for.

OK so this is obviously going to be a part one post, because I could go on all day. You see where I'm going with this. Somewhere, we lost control over this awesome concept and it's practically swirling down the pooper as we speak. Am I one of the few that still remembers when Facebook was for college students only? I'm seriously wondering why they changed that. Oh right, the same reason most businesses go corrupt and start sucking royally... money.

Fashion BooBoos

I'm no expert on fashion, I'm very much a jeans/T-shirt/Converse kinda girl. But there are a few fashion blunders that I think need some clarification, because people just don't seem to understand them. It's like the black socks and sandals thing. It took a while but I think that people are finally coming around to the fact that it just doesn't look good.

I'll start with my favorite (or LEAST favorite, depending on how you look at it) fashion mistake. Chacos. Ugh! Now I'll admit, I can see the functionality behind these. I'm from Texas so I can understand wanting to be outdoors minus the sweaty feet. But somewhere, people got REALLY confused about these. I've seen girls wear these in clubs with sequins and skirts. Really?? Did they really look in the mirror before leaving the house and think to themselves, "this looks good but it's missing something... How about some canvas and rubber?!" Nonononono!!! Just to clear things up a bit for those who are sadly misunderstood-

DON'T:

DO:

Second biggest fashion pet peeve- Uggs. An old friend of mine from high school said it best- "Ugg is short for ugly." These are just NOT cute shoes. Again, just like Chacos, these can be functional. Like when it's cold. Now, if it's cold enough to wear these boots, it's gotta be pretty cold. Too cold to wear a skirt. Or shorts. Or tights. Girls, this just DOES NOT LOOK GOOD! And don't try to tell me "my feet get cold blah blah blah." I have a hard time believing that bare or barely clad legs are miraculously staying warm in cold weather when boots are called for. And wearing them in warm weather? I just laugh at you because I know you've got some sweaty, stinky feet going on. I did the Race for the Cure walkathon this past weekend for Susan G Komen and girls were wearing Uggs on a 5K. Not a long walk, only about an hour, but their feet had to have been killing them. There's NO support there! I took great pleasure in hopping and skipping around them in my Nike Shox. Comfy feet... Mmmmm... Bottom Line:

PLEEEASE DON'T:

DO:

Last, but CERTAINLY not least... Manpris. Ew. Please. Make. It. Stop. Now a very dear friend of mine recently admitted to wearing manpris. At least he's honest. And wouldn't hate me for laughing at him should he have another lapse in judgement and wear them again. Whatever idiot is spreading the word like wildfire that these pants are the next big thing in menswear... THEY LIED! I understand they are pretty popular in other countries, but the US isn't parring that hole yet. Here's my big question- where would one find these? I once saw a kilt store in Seattle, maybe there's a manpri store somewhere. Weird. And here's the thing- these men actually think they look good. I can't remember a time in my life that I saw a guy wearing manpris that I just wanted to pounce on. I think they are more of a deterrent really. It just screams, "Women, stay away from me, I'm delusional and am prone to being lied to when I ask other people how I look!" I'm honestly not a big capri wearer myself because it's either hot enough for shorts or cold enough for jeans. Yuck yuck yuck.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T:

DO:

God if these things went away entirely, I would be happy. Then again, I'd lose a good 3% of my day to day entertainment if they did. I hate Catch 22's. By no means am I saying that I'm the snazziest of dressers, but there are a few things that just seem like they'd be common sense to me.



Zombies... a good place to start!

OK Can I just say that I'm new to this and haven't the foggiest of where to start? Seriously, I've been thinking about starting a blog for a while and have FINALLY gotten the guts up to start. My mission statement- I have none. Anyone that knows me knows that I'm random and I like to vent, so I figure that's probably the best direction (or lack of one) for me to start with.

My husband and I watched the first episode of that new AMC show The Walking Dead last night. I have to say, it's not bad at all. It was a whopping hour and half long, that was my only complaint. Hopefully that was just an "intro episode special length" and it won't be that long every time. Half hour sitcoms have a hard enough time holding my attention... OO squirrel! I have to be honest, if it weren't for my husband's obsession with zombies, I probably wouldn't have watched the show on my own. He has this innate need to be prepared for an impending zombie attack that is no doubt in our future. He watches zombie movies very intently, critiquing their "not-so-thought-through" plans and making mental notes of the good ones. Sigh. This is what the next 60 years of my life look like. At least he's cute. Anywho, onto the show. It's about a sheriff who gets shot during a high speed chase and goes into a coma. He wakes up in zombieland and sets out on his mission to find his wife and son and I'm having a feeling the premise for the show will be his "quest" to find them. The main character is played by Andrew Lincoln, which means nothing. He was the "To me, you are perfect" guy in Love Actually. (Yeah, the cute one we all thought Kiera Knightley should have left her husband for.) The show actually goes in a different direction on zombies, which was refreshing. I know it's being filmed after a comic book series or something, and before anyone criticizes me for my ignorance, I haven't read them. The guy commandeers a horse after he runs out of gas and that's about the point where the show got really interesting for me. For about 5 minutes until the horse got eaten by zombies. Yeah, I'm pretty much scarred for life now. Overall, I enjoyed it. It's pretty gruesome, not good for entertainment while eating. Trust me. I have done this. My favorite part is that it's on AMC and there are almost no commercials and the few breaks they do take are like 2 minutes. Long enough to take a trip to the crapper and grab a soda.

Final score- 4 stars. **SPOILER!** It lost a star because his wife is canoodling with his old partner from before the coma. Messed up.